Summary Of Sheila Heen's Three Triggers That Block Feedback

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Thanks for the Feedback
Summary

In chapter one, author Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen address the three triggers that block feedback. There are three common triggers. Truth, relationship, and identity. The truth triggers are caused by substance of feedback. This truth triggers leave us feeling wronged, exasperated and unhelpful. They discussed relationship triggers that are caused by a certain person who giving us gift of feedback. We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.
These author’s stated that regardless of the feedback there’s something about our relationship with the person giving us the feedback that is throwing us off, it is unhelpful, or not true. The giver can be ungrateful for your effort, or not
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Why we get triggered and what helps. The trust triggers, the feedback is wrong, unfair, and unhelpful. They feel that before we figure out what to do with the feedback, we must first understand it. We have to get a sense of where the givers are coming from. Then we have to shift from the wrong to tell me more. We also need to see our blind spot. We are blinded to things about ourselves. This is a key that cause for confusion in feedback conservation. Sometime the feedback is wrong and sometime our feedback is in our blind spots. Relationship Triggers: I can’t hear this feedback from you, our perception of feedback is influenced by the person giving the feedback. We are triggered by their credibility and trustworthiness, as well as how we are treated by that person and by the way feel about them too. There is hurt, suspicion, and anger produced by relationship trigger. We have to disentangle the feedback from the relationship issues that were triggers.
Identity Triggers: The feedback is threatening and I’m off balance. Identity is the story we tell ourselves about who we are and what the future holds for us. And when critical feedback is incoming that story is under
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When you ask your boss for more direction, you are asking for coaching. . When your boss says you are a strong performer and can be groomed, that’s evaluation. Coaching can have by two different types of needs. First there is the need to improve your knowledge or skills in order to build capability and meet challenges. The second kind of coaching the feedback giver is not responding to our needs to develop certain skills. Evaluation is to rate or rank against a set of standards, to align expectations, to inform decision making. When your boss says you are a strong performer and can be groomed, that’s evaluation. What an evaluation does is let us know just where you stand. Appreciation is about relationship and human reconnection. .And what that does is say thank you. Example of gratitude, is when your boss says how grateful he is to have you on the

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