Silent Cry of Divorce They say that a marriage dies with a silent cry, not an explosion. But how can something that started with such overwhelming feelings end so quietly? Couples often cite a top reason for their divorce was because they were always fighting. But I believe a breakdown in communication is the top cause of divorces in the United States. Having the skills to express your thoughts and feelings to your partner is essential to a healthy, long term relationship. According to John F. O 'Malley (1998) “It must become a strategic partner-ship fueled with open, honest and caring communication to navigate life 's potholes, which cause many frustrating flat tires” (para. 1). If you have bad communication as a couple, a chain of negative
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Misunderstandings, if not corrected can snow ball out of control. Often it will start with small things, forgetting to pick up milk at the store on your way home from work, or not making time to help out around the house. At first these things are easy to dismiss, but as time goes on, overlooking the little things gets harder, when it is always the same person picking up the slack. Their feelings will often be hurt, they may feel like their partner doesn’t listen or care enough about them to take the time to remember. Gary Chapman (2010), author of The 5 Love Languages says “Putting away shoes, changing the baby’s diaper, washing dishes or the car, vacuuming, or mowing speaks volumes to the individual whose primary love language is acts of service.” (p. 99). Or worst, that the partner is doing it on purpose. Dr. Dave Currie (2016) points out “Either way, your pride screams at you to take revenge. If you don’t strike back immediately, you at least want to keep this “guilt card” in your pocket, to be pulled out at a later date: “Oh yeah, well what about the time when you….” (para. 1). A healthy marriage cannot survive someone that plays a “guilt card”. Every time a discussion is started and one partner doesn’t like what is being said that “guilt card” will be pulled out and the discussion will deteriorate into a long list of offenses. The best method to clear up a misunderstanding is to talk about it in a …show more content…
Perhaps she was trying to say something else, but failed to communicate properly. Be deliberate about giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. Instead of reacting with anger because of something she said, take a step back and ask her what she meant by that particular statement. By not jumping to conclusions, you will clear up misunderstandings in your relationship, as well as learn to better understand each other. (para. 5) The cause and effect needs to be discussed. What may be a big deal to one person, may be nothing that the other person would ever think twice about. But they will never know if it isn’t told to them, and all too often that conversation never takes place, there is a breakdown in the
Misunderstandings, if not corrected can snow ball out of control. Often it will start with small things, forgetting to pick up milk at the store on your way home from work, or not making time to help out around the house. At first these things are easy to dismiss, but as time goes on, overlooking the little things gets harder, when it is always the same person picking up the slack. Their feelings will often be hurt, they may feel like their partner doesn’t listen or care enough about them to take the time to remember. Gary Chapman (2010), author of The 5 Love Languages says “Putting away shoes, changing the baby’s diaper, washing dishes or the car, vacuuming, or mowing speaks volumes to the individual whose primary love language is acts of service.” (p. 99). Or worst, that the partner is doing it on purpose. Dr. Dave Currie (2016) points out “Either way, your pride screams at you to take revenge. If you don’t strike back immediately, you at least want to keep this “guilt card” in your pocket, to be pulled out at a later date: “Oh yeah, well what about the time when you….” (para. 1). A healthy marriage cannot survive someone that plays a “guilt card”. Every time a discussion is started and one partner doesn’t like what is being said that “guilt card” will be pulled out and the discussion will deteriorate into a long list of offenses. The best method to clear up a misunderstanding is to talk about it in a …show more content…
Perhaps she was trying to say something else, but failed to communicate properly. Be deliberate about giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. Instead of reacting with anger because of something she said, take a step back and ask her what she meant by that particular statement. By not jumping to conclusions, you will clear up misunderstandings in your relationship, as well as learn to better understand each other. (para. 5) The cause and effect needs to be discussed. What may be a big deal to one person, may be nothing that the other person would ever think twice about. But they will never know if it isn’t told to them, and all too often that conversation never takes place, there is a breakdown in the