To start off I was debating on what topic to talk about for this narrative but I one the topic I choose to talk today, even though is tough to even do this I know this is an experience that I'm never going to forget.
Well, all starts when you have a tough childhood where I see domestic violence in my house and think it's something that is never going to finish growing up I had a bad self-esteem that I always thought of not repeating the same thing but unfortunately by a blink of an eye everything changes to my worst nightmare.
At the age of 18, I met the guy of my dreams the guy that made forget everything, even my name the guy that made me feel safe. I knew nothing was going to happen to me.
But I guess I was wrong, it all started by telling …show more content…
If I forgot something, anything that could be degrading. I lived through it all, time and time again, I was afraid to leave for so many reasons. But when I realize that if I didn't he was going to kill me, I knew I didn't have a choice, I stayed because I thought he would come to his senses eventually. I stayed because I became paralyzed by his verbal and physical abuse. I stayed because I didn't know how to say goodbye, even if that doesn't make sense. I stayed because I have low self-esteem and didn't think I could find better. there are so many things I wish I could have said to him. Why didn't he tell me he had a history of domestic violence? we'd have never even dated. Why did you lie? why did you make me out to be the ''crazy ''one? there were signs, I choose to ignore because I desperately wanted to be loved, to be happy. never really seeing things for what they are worth. None of it really matters. I’d never get the truth anyway. I’ve forgiven him, even if the words ''I'm sorry'' never came out of his mouth. I don't have time to hold onto it anymore. When reading this back to myself, I look at some of the decisions I made and feel that some of the blame lies with me. I feel bad like I am trying to justify my actions and lump the blame. wonder what he thinks about what happened, knowing full well that he denies any of the above, and start to wonder if I imagined it. I also try and think
Well, all starts when you have a tough childhood where I see domestic violence in my house and think it's something that is never going to finish growing up I had a bad self-esteem that I always thought of not repeating the same thing but unfortunately by a blink of an eye everything changes to my worst nightmare.
At the age of 18, I met the guy of my dreams the guy that made forget everything, even my name the guy that made me feel safe. I knew nothing was going to happen to me.
But I guess I was wrong, it all started by telling …show more content…
If I forgot something, anything that could be degrading. I lived through it all, time and time again, I was afraid to leave for so many reasons. But when I realize that if I didn't he was going to kill me, I knew I didn't have a choice, I stayed because I thought he would come to his senses eventually. I stayed because I became paralyzed by his verbal and physical abuse. I stayed because I didn't know how to say goodbye, even if that doesn't make sense. I stayed because I have low self-esteem and didn't think I could find better. there are so many things I wish I could have said to him. Why didn't he tell me he had a history of domestic violence? we'd have never even dated. Why did you lie? why did you make me out to be the ''crazy ''one? there were signs, I choose to ignore because I desperately wanted to be loved, to be happy. never really seeing things for what they are worth. None of it really matters. I’d never get the truth anyway. I’ve forgiven him, even if the words ''I'm sorry'' never came out of his mouth. I don't have time to hold onto it anymore. When reading this back to myself, I look at some of the decisions I made and feel that some of the blame lies with me. I feel bad like I am trying to justify my actions and lump the blame. wonder what he thinks about what happened, knowing full well that he denies any of the above, and start to wonder if I imagined it. I also try and think