How My Life Changed Before I Was Born?

1035 Words 5 Pages
My life drastically changed before I was born. Before I was able to see what the “Before” was like. I live in the After. The aftermath of people 's poor choices and neglectful nature, the not-so-calm after the storm. When you live the the After you desperately long to see what the Before was like. So I took ten hours and built myself a before and, maybe, just maybe, this time there won’t need to be an after. When I was four, my Mother committed her life to someone new. I was now a girl with two moms, and two dads, and two last names. As I grew up, my biological Father and my Step Mom grew more and more verbally and emotionally abusive. My Dad was very distant and gone for long periods of time. Carrie, my Stepmother, treated me as if I was …show more content…
Other kids have memories of family game night and going on cool trips and I remember being 12 and hiding in closets while my Dad yelled and left again and again and again. Though to some extent, I led a normal life when at my Mom 's house. I laughed and played but there was always something missing.
As I became older, I becoame more and more distrusting and distant from my Step Dad (who I gave the name Pops as a kid). I was so terrified my bio Dad would be mad if I spent more time and became closer with Pops. Then I became scared Pops would not n 't like me if I messed up because my Dad did not like me much when I messed up. So I pulled away from my family all together. I lived in a dark place for awhile. One day, about a year and a half ago, the walls I built up to hide the fear and abuse fell down. I was given a new beginning, b. But I had to learn how to be a part of a family; h. How to let people love me;, how to love other people. Slowly I 'm learning how to trust and how to accept affection and kind words but it 's incredibly challenging. One area of this whole recovery that I have not attempted to fix at all was my strained relationship with Pops. So when I was given the assignment to do 10 hours of something new I choose to “bond” with him through activities we enjoyed when I was younger like hiking, seeing movies and
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At one point the topic of college came up. Somehow that led to three and a half hours of tears and apologies and some honesty. I was able to open up and finally admit how hard it was for me to recieve my parents love and attention. I was able to openly discuss how I did not feel apart of the family and to my surprise they listened. Pops gave me good advice and seemed to really care about what I had to say. It was a major stepping stone in our relationship. Last week I was making lunch and Pops came in and sat down and I finally told him what I was doing for my something new project. He had not previously known I had set out on a quest to spend 10 hours with him. He loved the idea and we ended up talking about friendship and college for a whole hour which was really nice. Really great advice was given regarding a tough situation with a friend. Pops had never before been the person I had gone to for advice and I really wish I would

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