Essay On The Dual-Process Model Of Bereavement

For this assignment I will be writing about my experience with an extremely difficult breakup since I have not experienced the death of someone close to me. Right after the breakup I felt neutral, but because I thought I was supposed to feel something I assumed this was relief. After about a week, reminders of my ex began to make me miss her. I became very sad and began to wonder if I had made a mistake in ending the relationship. The sadness I experienced, while very deep, wasn’t necessarily constant. I was able to distract myself with friends or participating in activities that I enjoyed such as working out or playing video games. However without these distractions I was predominately occupied by thoughts of my ex. My sadness turned to anger as I tried to recall why we had broken up in the first place in order to ease my discomfort surrounding my decision. I harbored a lot of resentment towards her for a time and then was just sad-pretty much until I wasn’t. In other words, time was really the only thing that made me “get over” her and move on. My experience with the loss of a significant personal relationship follows the Parker/Bowlby attachment model which describes four main phases pretty closely. While I didn't necessarily experience numbness during the …show more content…
While I did find distraction and thus relief from the emotions I was feeling through hobbies and spending time with friends, I didn’t have enough restoration-oriented events going on in my life to make me fully experience the oscillation this model expects. This is perhaps because I was a high school student without much other responsibility, such as caring for a family or being financially responsible for myself. I also don’t feel that the loss-oriented events in this model (such as denial/avoidance) match up with the process I