“You need to lose yourself to find yourself” (Rubin). So what does this statement entail? As difficult as it is for me to admit, the awful, dreaded, painful experience of loss is necessary for the becoming of the self. Losses can be experienced through a variety of ways, such as, the death of a loved one, a breakup, a disastrous event, or through something as simple as losing an object. These losses are needed as it teaches you how to grow without the dependency of what is lost. These experiences ultimately allow you to gain a deeper understanding and knowledge of your self. Your true self is both created and discovered. A core self exists that is discovered by losing false fronts. The self that is created is formed from socialization and the
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Yes, we probably cried and thought, how can I live without something so significant to my being? Something that made me feel secure? Okay, so our 4 year old minds probably did not come up with those questions verbatim, but pain must have been experienced as a part of us is missing. Who am I without my teddy bear? My doll? My train? Fast forward 20 years, the objects are more costly. Who am I without my license? My engagement ring? When an object is lost, we are forced to think about what contributes to our self which is needed for self-understanding. Self-understanding is significant in discovering our self as prominent psychologists like Carl Rogers have shown, "this emerging self has a greater degree of inner comfort, of self-understanding and self-acceptance, of self-responsibility. We know that this post-therapy self finds greater satisfaction and comfort in relationships with others" (Rogers 258). Not only will losing an object alter our relationship with our self, but it will affect other relationships. This can be impactful in terms of socialization, further contributing to the formation of our true …show more content…
Losing a person you were once so close to can be like losing a large chunk of yourself, and you are left feeling incomplete, hollow. You begin to ask yourself questions: “will I ever find another person who compliments my self?”; “what could I have changed about my self to make the relationship successful?”; “what will I do now?”. Your routine has been changed, and you are dropped into a life that you are not accustomed to. Judith Viorst, psychoanalysis researcher, claims that after a loss you go through the stages of shock, denial, mourning, anger, guilt, and acceptance (Viorst 239-243). Although this devastating event occurred, life does not stop here. Despite the circumstances, you are forced to move on and rebuild your self. While you are recreating the self, you are also taking what you learn from the breakup and implementing it to your becoming. Rather than having to focus on your partner, you now must focus on yourself to make sense of your becoming. Rogers agrees with this when he speaks of the privilege of being alone, “my most fruitful periods of work are the times when I have been able to get completely away from what others think...and gain perspective on what I am doing” (Rogers 15). While socialization is significant in forming the self, isolation is necessary to assure your thoughts and actions are strictly your own rather than being influenced by
Yes, we probably cried and thought, how can I live without something so significant to my being? Something that made me feel secure? Okay, so our 4 year old minds probably did not come up with those questions verbatim, but pain must have been experienced as a part of us is missing. Who am I without my teddy bear? My doll? My train? Fast forward 20 years, the objects are more costly. Who am I without my license? My engagement ring? When an object is lost, we are forced to think about what contributes to our self which is needed for self-understanding. Self-understanding is significant in discovering our self as prominent psychologists like Carl Rogers have shown, "this emerging self has a greater degree of inner comfort, of self-understanding and self-acceptance, of self-responsibility. We know that this post-therapy self finds greater satisfaction and comfort in relationships with others" (Rogers 258). Not only will losing an object alter our relationship with our self, but it will affect other relationships. This can be impactful in terms of socialization, further contributing to the formation of our true …show more content…
Losing a person you were once so close to can be like losing a large chunk of yourself, and you are left feeling incomplete, hollow. You begin to ask yourself questions: “will I ever find another person who compliments my self?”; “what could I have changed about my self to make the relationship successful?”; “what will I do now?”. Your routine has been changed, and you are dropped into a life that you are not accustomed to. Judith Viorst, psychoanalysis researcher, claims that after a loss you go through the stages of shock, denial, mourning, anger, guilt, and acceptance (Viorst 239-243). Although this devastating event occurred, life does not stop here. Despite the circumstances, you are forced to move on and rebuild your self. While you are recreating the self, you are also taking what you learn from the breakup and implementing it to your becoming. Rather than having to focus on your partner, you now must focus on yourself to make sense of your becoming. Rogers agrees with this when he speaks of the privilege of being alone, “my most fruitful periods of work are the times when I have been able to get completely away from what others think...and gain perspective on what I am doing” (Rogers 15). While socialization is significant in forming the self, isolation is necessary to assure your thoughts and actions are strictly your own rather than being influenced by