Cocaine Changed My Life

December 11th 2012 was the day that changed my way of life. It was the last day I ever got high on Cocaine. I got so high, I wanted to kill myself and had to call my dad to pick me up. Maybe this is not a big deal to you but. However, the fact I had to call my father in the middle of the night because my addiction had gotten so out of control, was pretty much the lowest I could ever feel. I didn’t want to be this person anymore. A person who lied, a person who picked fights with people so they would leave me alone with my addiction. A person dependent something synthetic to make them feel better and be able to get through the day. I had started using cocaine while I was deployed to Iraq with the army, it made everything better it numbed the normal feelings or sadness and guilt. Cocaine allowed my morals to accept all the horrible things I saw and had to do. My using continued when I came home and sent me to around 13 rehab facilities. Now I know after learning about addiction that all those times it didn’t help me stop because I wasn’t doing it for me, it was always for family members or my children or girlfriends. That last time I had to stumble into that Emergency room at the veteran’s hospital at 4am I was …show more content…
AA and NA meetings and people were going to be a large part of this new found life. My family actually wanted me around and not because they were worried what I would do if I wasn’t with them, they truly enjoyed my company. My children also seemed to enjoy being around me a lot more and I enjoyed them being around. Bars and clubs were on my do not go list and I fell those things were the hardest habits to break. I had a lot of trouble changing me my thoughts the way I react to situations. If I was to fly off the handle and get angry I would have thoughts of using, so I tried to keep my cool as much as