I turned off the treadmill and immediately collapsed to the floor, gasping for air.
I had just ran my first 5k in a quick 24 minutes, and yet, I felt nothing but disappointment. My sole two motivators in running were my own self hatred, and Kanye West blasting into my ears at a dangerous volume. As I caught my breath, the only words I could think to myself were “Be better”, a phrase that I’ve never heard from anyone but myself.
My young mind was poisoned with the obsession of “perfection”. I hated looking at mirrors, and yet I was consumed with spending hours finding every flaw on my body. At the age of 13, I began exercising in my bathroom where no one could see me. At 15 I would run excessively, and count the calories of every piece of food that went into my mouth. I didn’t see …show more content…
Near the end of 2015 I began realizing I needed help. I confessed my struggles to my mother, who immediately found a therapist. I was so used to suppressing my thoughts and emotions that the very idea of therapy terrified me. Regardless, I quickly grew to love my therapist. Despite my first session being entirely composed of me uncontrollably bawling between sentences, it was incredibly relieving. Micheline was collected, comforting, wise, and empathetic.
The more I saw her the more I admired her profession, and what she did for people. She changed me into someone who’s headstrong and determined to fight my problems. Moreso, she helped me realize that my fixation to “be better” is pointless, because I am already enough.
Although I continue to struggle daily with my problem, I also work daily to solve it. My experience has deeply inspired me to become someone like Micheline; someone who is able to help people realize their own self worth.
Having the ability to ease other’s struggles is one of my biggest life aspirations, and I would absolutely love to use OU’s excellent courses and expansive resources to help turn my dream into a
I had just ran my first 5k in a quick 24 minutes, and yet, I felt nothing but disappointment. My sole two motivators in running were my own self hatred, and Kanye West blasting into my ears at a dangerous volume. As I caught my breath, the only words I could think to myself were “Be better”, a phrase that I’ve never heard from anyone but myself.
My young mind was poisoned with the obsession of “perfection”. I hated looking at mirrors, and yet I was consumed with spending hours finding every flaw on my body. At the age of 13, I began exercising in my bathroom where no one could see me. At 15 I would run excessively, and count the calories of every piece of food that went into my mouth. I didn’t see …show more content…
Near the end of 2015 I began realizing I needed help. I confessed my struggles to my mother, who immediately found a therapist. I was so used to suppressing my thoughts and emotions that the very idea of therapy terrified me. Regardless, I quickly grew to love my therapist. Despite my first session being entirely composed of me uncontrollably bawling between sentences, it was incredibly relieving. Micheline was collected, comforting, wise, and empathetic.
The more I saw her the more I admired her profession, and what she did for people. She changed me into someone who’s headstrong and determined to fight my problems. Moreso, she helped me realize that my fixation to “be better” is pointless, because I am already enough.
Although I continue to struggle daily with my problem, I also work daily to solve it. My experience has deeply inspired me to become someone like Micheline; someone who is able to help people realize their own self worth.
Having the ability to ease other’s struggles is one of my biggest life aspirations, and I would absolutely love to use OU’s excellent courses and expansive resources to help turn my dream into a