Enrolling in this class is particularly important to me as my communication with my five teenage children has taken a dramatic nosedive since their father and I divorced.
All five primarily live with me, and spend time with their dad three weekends a month as per our custody agreement. The pain following a divorce is not exclusive, they are all suffering. Some show it more overtly and tend to be more aggressive with me in their choice of communication, however, all could benefit from me improving my interpersonal communication skills. (p.11) Showing self-restraint with disclosure as it relates to my ex-husband has been one of the biggest mistakes I have make throughout this process. As the book states, “…these disclosures only intensify …show more content…
They preferred two parents in the same house, even if those parents were miserable. Three weekends a month it is them that have to pack and go to their dad’s house, not me. Although divorce was not something they chose, they are definitely living with the consequences. Their loss was monumental. Not only did they lose seeing their dad every day, but they also gave up a mother who volunteered daily in their school and in return got one that locks herself in her bedroom to complete her never ending homework load. Learning how to address and diffuse conflict is not a skill I have. (p. 264) Instead of employing a smorgasbord of reactivity, avoidance and accomodation based on which fire I am putting out, I hope to be able to successfully apply approaches of collaboration.
Compromising is not something my kids would say is my strength, and I am sure it contributes to my perceived lack of buy in on their part to make our relationship one of mutual trust. Minus the support of my ex-husband, every word I say, or expression I make is subject to argument and competition. Therefore, if I am going to be able to make any improvements in my relationship with my children it is dependent only on what changes I am able to make in how I communicate and how I react or don’t
All five primarily live with me, and spend time with their dad three weekends a month as per our custody agreement. The pain following a divorce is not exclusive, they are all suffering. Some show it more overtly and tend to be more aggressive with me in their choice of communication, however, all could benefit from me improving my interpersonal communication skills. (p.11) Showing self-restraint with disclosure as it relates to my ex-husband has been one of the biggest mistakes I have make throughout this process. As the book states, “…these disclosures only intensify …show more content…
They preferred two parents in the same house, even if those parents were miserable. Three weekends a month it is them that have to pack and go to their dad’s house, not me. Although divorce was not something they chose, they are definitely living with the consequences. Their loss was monumental. Not only did they lose seeing their dad every day, but they also gave up a mother who volunteered daily in their school and in return got one that locks herself in her bedroom to complete her never ending homework load. Learning how to address and diffuse conflict is not a skill I have. (p. 264) Instead of employing a smorgasbord of reactivity, avoidance and accomodation based on which fire I am putting out, I hope to be able to successfully apply approaches of collaboration.
Compromising is not something my kids would say is my strength, and I am sure it contributes to my perceived lack of buy in on their part to make our relationship one of mutual trust. Minus the support of my ex-husband, every word I say, or expression I make is subject to argument and competition. Therefore, if I am going to be able to make any improvements in my relationship with my children it is dependent only on what changes I am able to make in how I communicate and how I react or don’t