NEVER GIVE UP is a character driven drama inspired by the true-life story of John Sachtouras. The tone is consistently dramatic. The script conveys solid themes about never giving up on one’s dream. It’s a classic rag to riches story. The story has the potential to be very insightful. The hook of the story is the idea that one can lose it all, but still triumph.
The goal is clear and the stakes are personal. The story is driven both by the inner, emotional goals of the protagonist, as well as the external goal.
While one can envision the story being very inspirational, the script would benefit from further development. The features to discuss include the structure, pace, tension, as well as character development.
The opening is non-linear, …show more content…
However, remember that the viewing audience can’t see how a character thinks. The audience can only see what’s on the screen and they can only hear what’s in dialogue. For example, on page 19, there’s no way for the audience to know that John has been talking non-stop, etc. Around page 22, there’s no way for the audience to understand that John is an excellent waiter, who gets along with everyone. On page 27, John’s disappointment and feeling tortured needs to be more visual (one isn’t sure why he feels disappointed or feels tortured). On page 30, there’s no way the audience can understand that John has a “sinking feeling.” Avoid narrative comments like: “He will make it.” Again, the audience can’t see this. This type of telling occurs throughout the script.
The other main concern is the lack of compelling tension in the first half. Because of the “telling” the tension feels mild versus building towards a climax. There’s really no tension until John marries Blanca and eventually can’t support the family. But this comes very late in the structure. The personal conflict begins around page 54. Thus, find ways to create more consistent, compelling tension throughout the entire
The goal is clear and the stakes are personal. The story is driven both by the inner, emotional goals of the protagonist, as well as the external goal.
While one can envision the story being very inspirational, the script would benefit from further development. The features to discuss include the structure, pace, tension, as well as character development.
The opening is non-linear, …show more content…
However, remember that the viewing audience can’t see how a character thinks. The audience can only see what’s on the screen and they can only hear what’s in dialogue. For example, on page 19, there’s no way for the audience to know that John has been talking non-stop, etc. Around page 22, there’s no way for the audience to understand that John is an excellent waiter, who gets along with everyone. On page 27, John’s disappointment and feeling tortured needs to be more visual (one isn’t sure why he feels disappointed or feels tortured). On page 30, there’s no way the audience can understand that John has a “sinking feeling.” Avoid narrative comments like: “He will make it.” Again, the audience can’t see this. This type of telling occurs throughout the script.
The other main concern is the lack of compelling tension in the first half. Because of the “telling” the tension feels mild versus building towards a climax. There’s really no tension until John marries Blanca and eventually can’t support the family. But this comes very late in the structure. The personal conflict begins around page 54. Thus, find ways to create more consistent, compelling tension throughout the entire