Essay on My Thoughts On My Life

1683 Words Sep 17th, 2015 7 Pages
This is an issue I have struggled with my whole life.
Who am I?
Who should I be?
Why do I even exist?
Would the world be better off without me?
Do I even make a difference?
I have asked my self these questions over and over again, driving myself deeper into a hole of self-pity and assumed worthlessness.
From the time I was just a toddler, I have wondered if I had a place I this world. Why, you might wonder, would a little girl even think things like this? I clarify, I had an amazing childhood, my brothers are, and always have been my best friends. I never doubted that my parents loved me, I am not writing about this to 'hate on ' people I feel have let me down. I 'm writing this to all those people who still believe the lie.
One of the things that contributed to my feeding myself self-pity, was actually I person that I admire, respect, and love, then and now. I wasn 't the only one who saw what an amazing woman she was/is. I remember comments to this effect made about her:
"__?__ is so beautiful!"
"__?__ is so talented."
"__?__ is such a good person."
"I love __?__ 's style."
"__?__ is so helpful!"
Now all of these things are true, and would not have effected my negatively in and of themselves, but following the long praise, something to the effect of "Anna, well she 's not like __?__" was said.
In my mind a heard:
"__?__ is so beautiful
__?__ is so talented
__?__ is such a good person
I love __?__ 's style
__?__ is so helpful!
I 'm not like her, I 'm not…

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