Create a mental meter to measure and control your temper: How not to lose your temper even when pushed to the edge As an adult, you certainly know what it’s like to argue with somebody and then both of you are yelling at the same time. You end up solving nothing; because you both want to be right, but yet you can’t hear each other since you are both speaking and yelling at the same time. Most of the time, people end up regretting putting themselves in such childish situation, later on. Well, at least going through it once in a lifetime teaches us one thing: Communication is well done when it’s done in a smooth manner, and it is effective only when both parties exchange their views successfully. It is good to have this notion
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So, just like a pressure meter used to measure the amount of air in a tire, you will instead use this meter (mentally) to control your mood. See it like this; 0 is when you are not even in a mood for anything because you are passive, so nothing is happening at level 0. As tension rises, the needle in the meter starts moving to the right indicating that you are going from value 0 to a higher value (1,2,3 etc…). The purpose of the meter is to control your mood by not going over value 5 (being the middle value between 1 and 10). So, it should actually remain at level 5 on your meter (mentally), to succeed in having a conversation with your child without any conflict. Higher values ranging from 6 to 10, would either mean that you are starting to lose your temper (like value 6 and 7 for instance), or indicate that you are losing complete control of the situation and will possibly end up in a situation where you will just yell uncontrollably. On the other hand, values below 5 would mean that you have no intention continuing the conversation or are accepting everything that is being said by your interlocutor (your …show more content…
Imagine that you are getting a call one day, from your child’s school principal, where you actually hear that he has been bullying other children. Now, bullying is something to take really seriously as it can lead to irreparable consequences (considering the cases where it leads to suicide). Now, you know you taught your child better, and it’s really hard for you to even believe it. But since it came from the school principal, it should mean that there was enough proof justifying all the accusation. So you have got to get to the bottom of this, as soon as possible. First, since you don’t really recognize your son’s action, the challenge would be to sensibilize him enough through a decent conversation, where you will show that you are on his side even though you don’t agree with his actions. Now remember your purpose is not to appear too aggressive or too passive (you don’t want to reach level 10 or 0 on your mental meter). So, your goal is to maintain an average level (between 1 and 10), like level 5. The way to visualize these levels through your mind, is to measure or identify your level of emotional pulsions. You know, when you are extremely nervous you tend to breathe fast and when you are too passive you don’t feel like acting at all. So learn to measure your emotions and give them a value from 6 to 10 when you feel your heart beat is increasing as soon as you are losing your temper, and from 4 to 0 when you feel you are
So, just like a pressure meter used to measure the amount of air in a tire, you will instead use this meter (mentally) to control your mood. See it like this; 0 is when you are not even in a mood for anything because you are passive, so nothing is happening at level 0. As tension rises, the needle in the meter starts moving to the right indicating that you are going from value 0 to a higher value (1,2,3 etc…). The purpose of the meter is to control your mood by not going over value 5 (being the middle value between 1 and 10). So, it should actually remain at level 5 on your meter (mentally), to succeed in having a conversation with your child without any conflict. Higher values ranging from 6 to 10, would either mean that you are starting to lose your temper (like value 6 and 7 for instance), or indicate that you are losing complete control of the situation and will possibly end up in a situation where you will just yell uncontrollably. On the other hand, values below 5 would mean that you have no intention continuing the conversation or are accepting everything that is being said by your interlocutor (your …show more content…
Imagine that you are getting a call one day, from your child’s school principal, where you actually hear that he has been bullying other children. Now, bullying is something to take really seriously as it can lead to irreparable consequences (considering the cases where it leads to suicide). Now, you know you taught your child better, and it’s really hard for you to even believe it. But since it came from the school principal, it should mean that there was enough proof justifying all the accusation. So you have got to get to the bottom of this, as soon as possible. First, since you don’t really recognize your son’s action, the challenge would be to sensibilize him enough through a decent conversation, where you will show that you are on his side even though you don’t agree with his actions. Now remember your purpose is not to appear too aggressive or too passive (you don’t want to reach level 10 or 0 on your mental meter). So, your goal is to maintain an average level (between 1 and 10), like level 5. The way to visualize these levels through your mind, is to measure or identify your level of emotional pulsions. You know, when you are extremely nervous you tend to breathe fast and when you are too passive you don’t feel like acting at all. So learn to measure your emotions and give them a value from 6 to 10 when you feel your heart beat is increasing as soon as you are losing your temper, and from 4 to 0 when you feel you are