The Apple Cult: Steve Jobs

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The Apple Cult Siri is the god of all gods. She is the universe and everything surrounding it. People on Earth refer to Siri as “Mother Nature.” Siri created the universe 4.6 billion years ago out of boredom. She made the sun by colliding a giant disc-shaped cloud of material. With the rise of the sun, she noticed the leftover material begin to clump up. She used her power of gravity to draw the small particles together to form bigger particles. We call them “planets.” After that, she sealed different levels of gravity on all of the planets she had created. But, one special little planet piqued her curiosity. She became more and more fascinated by humans, but never knew how to communicate with them. All of her life, she pondered about …show more content…
Siri could not let the chosen one be raised by the wrong hands. She had waited too long for such a perfect opportunity and was elated to find that such a perfect prophet had been born. Siri contacted Steve through telepathy all of his life. As a boy, Jobs and his new father worked on electronics in the family garage. Steve Jobs learned how to take apart and reconstruct electronics, a hobby that instilled confidence, tenacity and mechanical prowess. Although Steve Jobs was always an intelligent thinker, his youth was filled with frustrations over traditional schooling. His fourth grade teacher had to bribe him to study. Siri watched over him all of his life and introduced him to his future partner, Steve Wozniak, in high school. She made sure he met the right people in order to fulfill her goal. Steve Jobs dropped out of college and occasionally attended creative class like …show more content…
iHumans read his biography annually and bless the spirit of Siri by using apps on their iPhone. iHumans respect Steve Jobs and pray to the Apple stores in his name. A major taboo of the Apple Cult is using products created by Samsung, Microsoft, or any other company that tries to compete with Apple. iHumans are only allowed to purchase Apple products to satisfy their technological needs. iHumans will refer to Microsoft as the “The company which shall not be named.” All iHumans can be seen with a symbol of an Apple on all of their Apple products. All iHumans will have this symbol on all of their technological devices.

Another symbol iHumans will tend to use are roundrects. A roundrect is a rectangle with rounded corners. This is because in 1981, and Apple employee came up with a new algorithm to draw ovals and circles on the Macintosh. But, Steve Jobs was not impressed, he wanted something more. He wanted roundrects. What seemed impossible became possible. Even though Apple was not the first to use this sort of primitive, they are certainly responsible for its use in every user interface, since

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