Why Do I Search For My Hardships?

When searching for my hardships, I had a difficult time. After searching for some time, I came to the realization that by this age, my hardships are often what I end up shrugging off. After some soul searching, I came to see that one of my hardships was my parents. Throughout middle school, and parts of high school my parents often fought with one another. They fought to the point that by seventh grade I had seriously wished that they would just get divorced, for the best. However, I later came to find that the only thing that was holding my mother back was my sister and I. I went from being angry about the situation to feeling guilty for existing. My mother stayed in an unhappy marriage because of my sister and I’s future. She gave up the …show more content…
She came back later that night, but the fear from that experience never truly left me, despite my trying to pretend it never happened. During this time when their fighting was at it’s worse, I blamed myself, and thought things that a thirteen-year old shouldn’t have told herself, and did things that she shouldn’t have. Through this experience, however, I began to find myself in this new mindset of “someone has it worse than you”, which is something a friend of mine came to indirectly remind me. It wasn’t a message meant to tell me to stop wallowing in self-pity, but a message to tell me to keep moving forward. I learned that the relationships around you may fall apart, and everything may look dark, but eventually things will get better (and it did). It taught me to find the light in an extremely dark situation, which is something that’s still hard for me now, but I have definitely have gotten better at it. Keep moving forward, meaning to keep working at what you want, despite everyone around you telling you won’t be able