RACING LINES presents as a sports drama that focuses on the sport of motorcross racing. Motorcross racing provides for a strong hook. The tone is consistently dramatic. The goal is clear and the stakes are very personal. There are solid themes about second chances. The script provides an interesting and credible inside look at the world of motorcross.
The racing sequences are well crafted. The races create strong tension for the audience.
While there’s a lot to like about the script, the script would benefit from more development.
The first act sets up the world of motorcross and the ordinary lives of the main characters of Andy and Theo. There’s a pivotal plot beat when Andy is hurt. The story is propelled into the second act when they join a team, but need sponsors. However, there’s an expectation that the story will focus on the two brothers, Andy and Theo, their lives as racers, their rival with Curtis, and preparing for a major competition. Instead, the story focuses mainly on the attempts to get sponsorship. The concern is that the story becomes more focused on the coaches and the owners, than it does on the brothers. The reason this is concerning is that it’s unclear who the true protagonist is. One believes it’s supposed to be Andy, but Andy doesn’t drive the story. The second act begins to feel repetitive regarding finding a sponsor and the training sessions. Certainly, there are some well-crafted scenes, but it’s just not as exciting as the idea of the brothers preparing for a major race. Thus, consider re-focusing the story more on the development of the brothers, preparing for a race, their conflict with Curtis, their personal lives, and making the sponsorship conflict secondary. Then later, when finding a sponsor fails, they realize they will have to let one of the brothers go. However, to make this work, more development needs to be done regarding the relationship between the brothers. Continue to work on character development. All the characters need to feel more relatable. Andy is presented as being an angry teen. He’s physically hurting, but it’s unclear why he’s so emotionally annoyed. It’s difficult to grasp Andy, or to care about him because of his demeanor. It would really help to understand him more as a character and what he needs emotionally. Also, as a potential protagonist, as mentioned, he doesn’t drive the story forward. Finally, at the end, it’s not clear how he grows or transforms as a character. Theo is even less understood as a character. He initially seems protective of his brother, but because the script focuses more on the other characters, Theo never stands out. It would really benefit the script to focus more on the highs and lows (the arcs) of their relationship. Curtis and his father, Harold, are well established as the main adversaries. Harold clearly pushes his son to the moral …show more content…
The other characters don’t have distinctive voices. Avoid repeating dialogue. Dante twice mentions that racing is in their blood (pages 3 and 10). Both Gerry and Aldo make similar statements about picking up the pieces (pages 68 and 71).
In addition, the repetitive nature of the script, make the pace feel sluggish. One keeps waiting to focus more on the race. With that said, the scenes of the brother getting a sponsorship from the condom company is nicely done and is very intriguing. It adds a bit of needed humor too.
Because of the current structure, the overall tension feels rather mild. When the characters race, it’s very exciting and this generates tension, but overall there’s not enough compelling tension or conflict to sustain the entire plot.
It’s only in the third act that the brothers are forced to compete against each other, and while this generates nice tension, because there’s no emotional connection with either Andy or Theo, the audience isn’t invested in the outcome as strongly as they should be.
The ending at the family home with Andy sobbing, unfortunately, doesn’t elicit any emotional response for the audience. The ending visuals with both of the brothers on top of the rock makes for a nice image, but again, more development between the brothers is
The racing sequences are well crafted. The races create strong tension for the audience.
While there’s a lot to like about the script, the script would benefit from more development.
The first act sets up the world of motorcross and the ordinary lives of the main characters of Andy and Theo. There’s a pivotal plot beat when Andy is hurt. The story is propelled into the second act when they join a team, but need sponsors. However, there’s an expectation that the story will focus on the two brothers, Andy and Theo, their lives as racers, their rival with Curtis, and preparing for a major competition. Instead, the story focuses mainly on the attempts to get sponsorship. The concern is that the story becomes more focused on the coaches and the owners, than it does on the brothers. The reason this is concerning is that it’s unclear who the true protagonist is. One believes it’s supposed to be Andy, but Andy doesn’t drive the story. The second act begins to feel repetitive regarding finding a sponsor and the training sessions. Certainly, there are some well-crafted scenes, but it’s just not as exciting as the idea of the brothers preparing for a major race. Thus, consider re-focusing the story more on the development of the brothers, preparing for a race, their conflict with Curtis, their personal lives, and making the sponsorship conflict secondary. Then later, when finding a sponsor fails, they realize they will have to let one of the brothers go. However, to make this work, more development needs to be done regarding the relationship between the brothers. Continue to work on character development. All the characters need to feel more relatable. Andy is presented as being an angry teen. He’s physically hurting, but it’s unclear why he’s so emotionally annoyed. It’s difficult to grasp Andy, or to care about him because of his demeanor. It would really help to understand him more as a character and what he needs emotionally. Also, as a potential protagonist, as mentioned, he doesn’t drive the story forward. Finally, at the end, it’s not clear how he grows or transforms as a character. Theo is even less understood as a character. He initially seems protective of his brother, but because the script focuses more on the other characters, Theo never stands out. It would really benefit the script to focus more on the highs and lows (the arcs) of their relationship. Curtis and his father, Harold, are well established as the main adversaries. Harold clearly pushes his son to the moral …show more content…
The other characters don’t have distinctive voices. Avoid repeating dialogue. Dante twice mentions that racing is in their blood (pages 3 and 10). Both Gerry and Aldo make similar statements about picking up the pieces (pages 68 and 71).
In addition, the repetitive nature of the script, make the pace feel sluggish. One keeps waiting to focus more on the race. With that said, the scenes of the brother getting a sponsorship from the condom company is nicely done and is very intriguing. It adds a bit of needed humor too.
Because of the current structure, the overall tension feels rather mild. When the characters race, it’s very exciting and this generates tension, but overall there’s not enough compelling tension or conflict to sustain the entire plot.
It’s only in the third act that the brothers are forced to compete against each other, and while this generates nice tension, because there’s no emotional connection with either Andy or Theo, the audience isn’t invested in the outcome as strongly as they should be.
The ending at the family home with Andy sobbing, unfortunately, doesn’t elicit any emotional response for the audience. The ending visuals with both of the brothers on top of the rock makes for a nice image, but again, more development between the brothers is