Reading...
Play button
Play button
Use LEFT and RIGHT arrow keys to navigate between flashcards;
Use UP and DOWN arrow keys to flip the card;
H to show hint;
A reads text to speech;
69 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
|
Self Concept
|
relatively stable set of perceptions someone has about themselves (very internal)
|
|
|
Self-esteem
|
Judgements tied to our self concept. Relatively stable.
|
|
|
Identity
|
outward expression of self. Who do I become to the other people?
- sometimes identities match self concept, sometimes not. All three of these are dynamic, not stable. presenting self is public, face is the socially approved identity. Facework -- describes the verbal and nonverbal ways in which we act to maintain ourown presenting image and the images ofothers. |
|
|
Additional basic principles
|
self concept, self esteem and identity are multifaceted, not monadic
we put on different facades (identities) depending on the situation. All three are tied to comm, not merely extra-linguistic (outside of language). |
|
|
Building the Foundation
|
refer to next two cards...
|
|
|
The Consitutive View of Communication
|
Social contruction of reality (Berger & Luckmann, 1966).
|
|
|
Symbolic Interactionism concepts: identity and self
|
(Mead, 1934)
Berger and Luckmann make a broader argument: Comm is constitutive of our realities (for both people). They argue our social realities do not exist out of communication. |
|
|
Dual perspectives
|
Refer to next two slides
|
|
|
Micro perspective
|
More narrow - comm. we actually have in our lives
|
|
|
Macro perspective
|
Broader - cultural- that we don't really interact with.
|
|
|
Theoretical Perspectives on Identities:
|
Direct definitions
Refliected appraisal Social Comparison Social Constructions |
|
|
Direct Definitions
|
- Micro
- Explicit communication - we are often impacted by direct comments ppl give us - can be verbal and non-verbal. Ex. "you are beautiful." |
|
|
Reflected Appraisal
|
Argues ppl often view themselves based on how they think other people view them.
- micro - looking-glass self - implicit comm. --look for queues in hidden places - the ppl who influence your perspective from their perspective. They are called significant others. - self-fulfilling prophecy - The way I think about something is likely to make it happen. -Pygmalion effect - positively influencing -Golem Effect - negatively influencing. the 2 above effects have a commonality -- they can be macro in some cases, and reference groups, we compare ourselves to others. |
|
|
Social Constructions
|
Macro
we as society create understandings associated with particular identity categories - which often influence the way we think about ourselves. |
|
|
Identity
|
Outward projection of the self.
- Communicatively contructing Identities - revising identity-work - identity mngment - presenting self - altercasting (Tracy 2002) Methods: - reference terms - Hyphenation - Marital names, etc. - Marked - term prefaced by another term, and unmarked forms, no preface. Ex. Male nurse vs. nurse - Narratives - How we construct others' identities as well as our own - rituals - processes we engage in on regular basis Engage in reflection: - self monitor - use reflection to make appropriate changes in relationships w/ others. |
|
|
Improving Emotional Intelligence
|
- Identify your emotions
- express multiple emotions - choose how and when to express emotions - provide clear descriptions - use word pictures to create mental image for the recipient for what you're experiencing. Draw on example that is relateable to the other party (i.e., I feel like a kid in a candy store) |
|
|
Be aware of the power of thought
|
- appraisal comes b4 physiological response.
-reforming - process of reinterpreting the original appraisal w/ the goal to shift the emotional response. |
|
|
Understand the emotional contagion
|
others' emotions can rub off on you.
|
|
|
Avoid fallacy (error in thinking process)
|
fallacy of perfection
approval - believing everyone has to like us. should - inability to distinguish between what is and what should be causation - people pleaser over-generalization - when we exaggerate on impacts of life events - causation - when we believe other ppl have power over our emotions - helplessness - when we believe there is nothing to control our situation. - catastrophic expectations |
|
|
Daniel Goldman's Article
|
Says we should start evaluating people not only w/ scholarly brain power, but emotions as well
|
|
|
This involves...
|
1) being able to identity your own emotions and expressing them to others.
2) assess and understand others' emotions and respond fittingly to them. |
|
|
High emotional intelligence relates to...
|
- better relational satisfaction
- high self-comfort level. - ability to work effectively with others. |
|
|
components of emotions
|
- physiological element
- cognitive element - communicative element - learned portion. |
|
|
Emotions as processes
|
- trigger event takes place
- we make appraisals - Framing rules that describe an emotional tone of a situation - physiological changes - the way you interpret the situation will effect your body. - reaction - we let our "action tendencies" take over - Possible regulation: feeling rules/emotion scripts. |
|
|
Mindful listening
|
to become a virtuoso listener:
- understand diff. btw. bearing and listening. - being good listener, requires effective, appropriate, mindful responses. - avoid common listening mistakes. |
|
|
Hearing vs. Listening
|
Next 2 slides
|
|
|
Hearing
|
Physical process of sound waves hitting the eardrums
|
|
|
Mindful listening
|
Active process of attending, understanding, remembering, and responding appropriately.
includes: - Listening for pleasure - " to understand - " to build and maintain relationships |
|
|
Responding
|
no one listening response is a panasea
|
|
|
Different responses
|
- Silence - can communicate many diff things. ex. head nods/eye contact.
- questioning - can ask qs to get more info, q about their feelings, etc. - paraphrasing - takes more thought, but is more confirming than questioning - Empathizing - Been conceptualized in all diff. ways: Some say you can only empathize if you had that same experience. Means "feeling with" as opposed to sympathize, "feeling for." Ex. "I understand how you feel" use caution when using empathy. - Supporting "I'm here for you" best not to offer if you don't plan to follow through. -Analyzing- offer interpretation. only give if the person wants it. - evaluate - beyond advising , offer your actual opinion. it is establishing a power position. |
|
|
commonly made listening mistakes
|
pseudolistening
Stage hogging Selective listening Insulated - opposite of selective. block out topics we don't want to hear defensive listening - interpreting what ppl say in a negative manner. ambushing - ppl who listen very carefully but only to things they can use against you in the future. (counterfeit). Literal - only pay attention to content's message, but not relational. |
|
|
Communication climate
|
the feeling or overall tone of a relationship.
|
|
|
confirming message
|
when we confirm a person, we say "I like you."
Opposite when we disconfirm. |
|
|
Ways of confirming:
|
Recognition- sending mesage to another person, letting them kow you are aware of the. (waving or knodding head to someone who walks by you).
Acknowledgement - more intense form of recognition - we respond to a person as a unique human being (more targeted than recognition) Ex. Asking how someone's test went. Endorsement - highest form of recognition -- showing some kind of connection or approval. Ex. Hugging someone b/c you know they had a hard day. |
|
|
Disconfirming messages
|
impervious - opposite of recognition (ignoring)
interrupting irrelevent - messages that have nothing to do w/ what the person was saying. switching topics abruptly tangential - quickly acknowledegs the topic being discussed, but only to move it in another direction. impersonal - can be directed to anybody - whether you know them or not, lacks connection (looks liek you have a case of the mondays or it is what it is, or everything happens for a reason). incongruous - contradicts itself verbally and nonverablly |
|
|
Jack Gibbs Model of Defensiveness arousing communication
|
Next two slides
|
|
|
Supportive
|
Description: begins with "I"
provisionalism- saying this is what I think, but what do you think? spontaneity - always be upfront with your motives Problem orientation - Action oriented. Empathy Equality - making ppl feel the same |
|
|
Going beyond confirming messages
|
next 2 slides...
|
|
|
create satisfying relationships requires...
|
- investing
- self-disclosure - offering and responding to criticism |
|
|
Investing
|
putting something into a relationship. Sending someone a dbday card. doing something for partner you know is important.
|
|
|
Self disclosure
|
process of sharing important, personal info w/ another person. must be intentionally communicated
must be: -intentional -significant -and not otherwise known Alternatives: Benevolent lying (white lie) Equivocal language -- having two or more equally plausible meanings. ex. "you're too overweight to be ordering desert." and "These desserts are terribly overpriced." |
|
|
Social penetration model
|
(Altman & Taylor, 1973) --circle including emotions, family, wishes, mistakes, religion, and challenges.
- Breadth - the range of subjects being discussed - depth - how deep or personal you go with each subject. Depth and breadth in creating intimacy: the more of both you have, the more intimate the relationship. |
|
|
Defensive
|
next series of slides
|
|
|
evaluation
|
begins w/ negative "you"
|
|
|
certainty
|
think you know everything
|
|
|
strategy
|
ex. asking if a friend has plans then asking them to drive you somewhere. (Control)
|
|
|
neutrality
|
same as impersonal message
|
|
|
superiority
|
we sound as if we're better than others--the way we say something (power message).
|
|
|
Reluctant confidnts (Petronio, 2002)
|
ppl who find out things they wish they hadn't
|
|
|
Carefully offer criticism
|
in order to protect ppl's own self-esteem when giving criticism:--->
- focus on specific event - engage in perspective taking - criticize the behavior and not the person - describe b4 you evaluate - emphasize your perception - Encourage collaborative problem solving |
|
|
Responding to Criticism
|
- seek more information
- agree with critic |
|
|
Managing conflict: Interpersonal conflict:
|
"Expressed struggle btwn at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incomparable goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals."
- often times, conflict is over something we only "think" is in conflict, while it may be imagined. |
|
|
Key ideas
|
Conflict is natural; inescapable, can't get rid of it.
- " involves both process and outcome - " is culture bound - " may help relationships - " can be managed well or poorly |
|
|
Managing conflict well
|
- destructive: practice disconfirmation (ignoring, interrupting, impersonal messages ---> Gibbs theory of neutrality. also follow Prather and Prather's rules for disastrous tangentional msgs
|
|
|
Constructive
|
Practice confimation
follow ppl's philosophy and avoid their rules for disastrous communication. |
|
|
Prather and Prather's disastrous steps
|
1) bring up the matter when 1 of you is angry
2) when concentration is impossible 3) concentrate on getting what you want 4) instaead of listening, think about what you're going to say next 5) correct anything your partner says about you 6) mention something from the past to get partner angry 7) end by saying something that won't be forgotten |
|
|
Destructive
|
Egocentric
|
|
|
constructive
|
acknowledge diff styles
|
|
|
Conflict styles
|
...
|
|
|
Directness vs indirectness
|
(+/-)
|
|
|
expressiveness vs restraint
|
(+/-)
|
|
|
discusseion style (+/-)
|
saying what's on their minds w.o bringing in emotion
|
|
|
engagement style (+/+)
|
bring emotion in
|
|
|
Accommodating
|
(-/-) relying on nonverbal w/o emotion
|
|
|
Dynamic (-/+)
|
very emotional, but subtle
|
|
|
conflict outcomes
|
win-lose/lose-win
lose-lose compromise - more frequent than win-win win-win |
|
|
win/lose
|
should be the outcome when one person's goal is detrimental for them, the other, or somebody else
|
|
|
managing conflict well
|
destructive:
cross complain offer counterproposals drift metacommuniacte in a hostile way (critiquing their own comm). be selfish (single minded) Productive: validate other drift metacommunicate in a useful way engage in dual perpective |
|
|
Relationshipping (Julia Wood)
|
Grace = granting forgiveness or putting aside your needs when there is no standard that says you should do so.
|
