Essay about What I Did I Missed On My Last Test

1617 Words Oct 4th, 2016 7 Pages
11. 27. 35. Those arbitrary numbers remained in my head for an entire week. They were questions I knew I missed on my last test. I could recall nearly every detail from those questions, and the answer choices they provided. When I look them over after the test, I can answer all of them without hesitation. But when it comes to figuring out how to move on and ultimately become content, I draw a blank, just like on that day of the test. The pattern stays static, and though I do well on tests, I desire perfection, that cherry on top to cement that I know the material in and out. That has been my mentality to as far back as I can remember. But at times, it can eat at you, until you feel like an empty shell of your former self. That’s how I felt near the end of sophomore year. I was drained, and with the looming decision of deciding which college to go to getting nearer, those moments of imperfections hit harder, and every move that I made seemed to hold the weight of the world. I felt like Sisyphus, having to roll up this rock of excellence, only to see it roll right back down the hill, and repeat the process. It seems so fickle looking back on it now, but once you get so caught up in the moment, everything became magnified. Those tests become gateways and those grades determined whether or not you could escape the scrutiny of society. I treated it like a job, and so I felt any margin of error was unacceptable. I couldn’t sleep and had no appetite for anything if I felt awful…

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