The Girl That Butt-Shuffled: A Short Story

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“The Girl That Butt-Shuffled”

To most people you meet you are just someone they met once, however every now and again people will remember you for something. Like for example we had this big singing thing at my last high school every year called “Celebration”. It’s exactly what it sounds like, the whole school sings for a few hours. There’s not even cake, it wasn’t much of a celebration by my standards. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to be chosen to lead the school in this. It was fantastic I got to stand up in front of my entire school and their parents and sing songs I absolutely and whole heartedly detested, and if I didn’t hate them then I sure as fuck do now. To the young girls in the years below me, I was known as

The Girl That Sings.

I wore this badge with the kind of pride middle aged women get when tommy gets a medal in the race that everyone else also got a medal in. I was, and forever will be The Girl That Sings. In
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I didn’t grab one, or two, I grabbed about twenty, burning my hands in the process and shoved them into the hands of my boyfriend as I dove in for more. It was with this same class I inhaled about 13 nuggets with the vacuum power of Noo-Noo on speed. My friends were horrified, my hands were burnt but my stomach was full of sweet, sweet nuggets. You would think the tale would stop there, but the worst was yet to come.

At about midnight every night a change comes over me, all maturity and sensibility is cast aside in light of sugar or dancing. I had done both these things. My dancing had gone from mediocre to bizarre purple helicopter and that is when I thought you know what will be fun? Ill shows everyone my favourite dance move.
That is how, the other day as I was talking to a ridiculously attractive male it was brought to my attention it had not just been people I knew at said formal. The words left his mouth like prophet proclaiming my impending doom…

“You’re the girl that Butt-shuffled at the year 11 formal

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