TIME-OUT FROM REALITY is a character driven drama. The plot has merit. The idea of a young foster girl trying to rehab her uncle so that she can live with him is very appealing. It’s always nice to see how an adult character can change through the eyes of a child. The story explores themes about forgiveness, family, and healing.
The goal is clear and the stakes are personal. The story is driven also by the inner emotional needs of the protagonist, Izzy, just as much as her external goal. There’s a clear inciting event with the death of Izzy’s parents. The story is driven by her goal to find her uncle and become a real family. Izzy is proactive and overcomes the obstacles in her way. There’s also a very clever twist.
While there are certainly …show more content…
It can be fun to watch Izzy trying to shape and mold David into the perfect uncle, the way he looks, dresses, talks, walks, and interacts with people etc. She’s preparing him to meet the social worker. However, perhaps right before the meeting with the social worker, she learns that David isn’t her uncle (midpoint). However, he agrees to the ruse and the second half focuses on tricking the social worker with the threat of discovery that he’s not her uncle and not fit to care for her.
Now, the reveal that he’s not her uncle could come earlier as structured now, but if it does, the focus of the script should be on transforming David and the threat of discovery versus the foster home storyline. The foster home really takes the focus off of what could be a really strong story. For example, in the third act the tension and jeopardy is focused on Olivia and not on Izzy. They race to save Olivia takes the emphasis away from the real story, which should be Izzy, David, and Tom.
Granted, the foster home adds some tension, but the foster parents are depicted as the stereotypical “evil” foster parents, making them feel one-dimensional. Certainly this gives Izzy the incentive to get out. However, at times, it dominates the
The goal is clear and the stakes are personal. The story is driven also by the inner emotional needs of the protagonist, Izzy, just as much as her external goal. There’s a clear inciting event with the death of Izzy’s parents. The story is driven by her goal to find her uncle and become a real family. Izzy is proactive and overcomes the obstacles in her way. There’s also a very clever twist.
While there are certainly …show more content…
It can be fun to watch Izzy trying to shape and mold David into the perfect uncle, the way he looks, dresses, talks, walks, and interacts with people etc. She’s preparing him to meet the social worker. However, perhaps right before the meeting with the social worker, she learns that David isn’t her uncle (midpoint). However, he agrees to the ruse and the second half focuses on tricking the social worker with the threat of discovery that he’s not her uncle and not fit to care for her.
Now, the reveal that he’s not her uncle could come earlier as structured now, but if it does, the focus of the script should be on transforming David and the threat of discovery versus the foster home storyline. The foster home really takes the focus off of what could be a really strong story. For example, in the third act the tension and jeopardy is focused on Olivia and not on Izzy. They race to save Olivia takes the emphasis away from the real story, which should be Izzy, David, and Tom.
Granted, the foster home adds some tension, but the foster parents are depicted as the stereotypical “evil” foster parents, making them feel one-dimensional. Certainly this gives Izzy the incentive to get out. However, at times, it dominates the