Shonagon is not only a figure of inspiration to Akiko but also a symbol of self-acceptance and enlightenment. In My Year of Meats, Shonagon is introduced as a female poet, writer, and documentor who overstepped her bounds as a “listmaker and leaver of presumptuous scatterings” (Ozeki 15). She is praised for her poetry style that consisted of simple yet elegant lists of items or emotions that were relevant to her. Throughout the novel, Akiko finds comfort in the writings of Shonagon. Also, she would make her own lists that would mirror the style of Shonagon because Akiko believed “that lists could become poetry,” but she would only see a certainty that she could never have in her own life (Ozeki 62). In addition, it is revealed that she attempts to write lists as “Akiko could not imagine what such certainty [of Shonagon] would fee like…It was depressing” (Ozeki 39-41). Therefore, her lists would often hold repressed truths or the sadness she often carried. After she was raped, Akiko finally constructs a list that is beautiful, raw poetry describing the conception of her child while she is in the hospital. Ozeki did not necessarily have to write this passage in Shonagon style, but she did this to emphasize the moment where Akiko found that certainty and autonomy over her life that she had …show more content…
“It seemed as if a fresh breeze had blown in from somewhere out-of-doors and was making the curtains around the bed billow and glow. The air in the room eddied about her head and Akiko watched its particulates glitter in the moonlight like a bloom of phosphorescence on the incoming tide” (Ozeki 305). The use of words such as “billow and glow” and “bloom of phosphoescence” in this quote show that there is no question that Akiko is going through a spiritual awakening. In effect, there is a sense of peace and satisfaction that Akiko is finally assuming control of her life and future. As the novel develops, Ozeki increasingly places great emphasis on the cruel actions of Ueno on Akiko, as she is shoved and “blinded by the sudden blood” (Ozeki 100). She initially believed that she needed her husband to have a family and be a good wife to serve him. Now, she comes to peace with the fact that she needed her husband to create life, but her life and her body solely belong to her. The imagery here shows that Akiko is changed physically by becoming pregnant but also internally by deciding to leave and live a life with her child that is hers alone. Ozeki has built up Akiko’s story of abuse and self-hatred to show that while society strives to oppress women’s reproductive rights