That’s how much time has passed since my dad passed away on June 3rd, 2013. And no matter how many times I talk about it, write about it, think about it, I can’t get over it. Sure, the grief has mostly gone away, but there are still these little snippets of pains. Like weeds in a garden full of flowers, veggies, and fruits. These snippets aren’t even necessarily the good kind; they’re the ones that drain the life out of the rest of the garden and you start over.
But at the same time, it’s necessary. Like flowers.
My dad passed away from cirrhosis of the liver, as a result of excessive drinking. He was sixty-five when he passed; combine that with the stage his liver was in, he was low on the transplant list. There were numerous events and decisions that …show more content…
I went and had one of my weekly visits with my uncle the Monday after the first attack and I still felt off. Towards the end of the day, we decided to watch Hercules ad I just started panicking really badly. My grief was finally setting in.
What I experienced was an existential crisis. My mom supported me during the next couple weeks, seeing as we were both now experience grief.
Almost a month after my existential crisis started, there was a memorial service for my father. The week before, I was helping my mom with the guest list. She was incredibly stressed, but it still doesn’t forgive what followed. She was planning on going out that day to by an outfit for the memorial service for a friend. She decided to buy us Dunkin’ Donuts before she headed out and left me with her laptop, phone, and instructions to put down who was coming, who wasn’t, and who hadn’t responded.
I’d used my mom’s laptop before, but I couldn’t remember the password. So, without a way to contact her, I started handwriting the list so it wasn’t like I wasn’t doing anything at all while she was