Personal Narrative: I Was Defeated By My Father

My mother and father separated for the final time when I was about six years old. They had separated several times before that point. I didn’t have any kind of relationship with my father after the final separation and wasn’t aware of where he lived for several years. The lack of relationship was not because my mother wouldn’t allow me to have a relationship with him, rather because he moved from one place to another often without telling us because of the lifestyle he chose. When I was eleven years old I contacted my grandmother who provided me with his phone number. I called him and much to my surprise he didn’t want to talk to me and informed me that he had a new girlfriend who had kids that replaced me and my mother. To be rejected by my own father was the most hurtful rejection that I had and still have ever experienced. My father didn’t want a relationship with me because he had replaced me with children that were not even his own flesh and blood. …show more content…
Most of all I felt betrayed by the man that brought me into this world, the man that was supposed to protect and provide for me, the man that my mother often stated I was so much like, yet he chose to replace me with other children that were not even his flush and blood. I was angry with him to the point that I experienced hatred towards him. I attempted to convince myself I didn’t need him and I didn’t want him in my life, but the desire to have my father in my never ended. I experienced jealousy towards his girlfriend and her children and I didn’t even know them. At the same time I felt shameful and insecure about myself as I believed I he thought I was not good enough to be in his life. I placed a great amount of blame on myself for not making him proud of me. I was confused as to what I had done that caused him not to want me in his