Marriage Trap Essay

970 Words 4 Pages
In a world in which there are ever increasing rates of divorce, one must wonder: is marriage worth the heartache or is it simply an institution of the past, ready to be chucked out like an outdated phone book? In the article "Marriage Trap", author Meghan O’Rourke argues for the primordial relationship of mankind while responding passionately to Laura Kipnis with great vigor and success.
Marriage has been around since the beginning of time. Kipnis, however, wishes to argue the need for marriage in modern society. In her article, "Against Love", Kipnis blames failing marriages on marriage itself, rather than the flaws of man. She believes in a world where adulterers are not only commonplace, but accepted. Her fantasy world lacks discipline and
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This is what keeps the world rotating. According to O’Rourke, “‘Work,’ in [Kipnis’] lexicon is always the drudgery of self-denial, not the challenge of extending yourself beyond what you can do” (587). Like any relationship, marriage requires work. Kipnis lists countless reasons of “You can’t[s]…” to prove marriage is flawed and useless, such as being a slob or leaving the bathroom door open (582). However, excluding a few of these “limitations” these downfalls seem to be based upon a narcissistic view of one 's life. Marriage is a team, two people committing their lives till death do them part. Such as in any team, each person must be willing to give up one’s self to accomplish a goal. Love is selfless and does not desire it’s own. Kipnis may speak for herself if she is not willing to truly love someone and deny an aspect of herself she does not dare to …show more content…
While Kipnis downplays modern love to the stereotypical heartbreak, love conquers, always has and always will. Love is devotion and true love cannot be broken. While America may be lacking commitment and is unwilling to resolve problems thus throwing in the towel, love is still there in the hearts of many others. Kipnis seems to showcase only that of divorce and betrayal rather than the lifetime love of countless others. Yes, marriage is not a fairy tale, it has its ups and downs, that is why “in sickness and in health” is part of the vow. This phrase is not meant to sound dooming of the ills of mortality, this phrase is to showcase that love can endure through the bad and the good, every single time, if the couple allows it. O’Rourke agrees and believes “...love might indeed get a better name if we were as attentive to the intellectual dishonesties of the public debate over its failings as we are to the emotional dishonesties of adulterers” (587). As in any problem we must look for a solution, the solution being change. Turn dishonesty into honesty, fear of responsibility and commitment, thus individuals must work on themselves to be the partner in which they in turn expect of their spouse. No longer can blame be placed on the ills of marriage but rather on the ills of mankind, characteristic flaws encouraged by a lust filled world. Denying oneself every once in awhile to attend to the needs of others will help each

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