H Is For Hawk By Helen Mcdonald Essay example

1216 Words Nov 2nd, 2015 null Page
In her memoir, H is for Hawk, Helen McDonald writes, “What the mind does after losing one’s father isn’t just to pick new fathers from the world, but pick new selves to love them with.”
I didn’t read the book. My mom clipped out the book review from the New York Times and gave it to me. She tried to get through the book, but it read too slowly. The review alone, and the quote in particular, had sufficed.
I read the review, I committed the quote to memory, and I wondered if this described my experience. Had I sought out new fathers? Had I loved the people that I had found, or had I been haphazardly filling empty spaces? Had I recreated myself in the process?
What happens to intimacy when you lose a father? Is it true—do we search for fathers elsewhere, in other boys, in other girls?
When your mother passes away, when your significant other dies, when your friend is murdered by her boyfriend—how does loss manifest itself in relationships, in hook-up culture, in the physical sexual act?
What follows is not an example of journalistic excellence, nor is it a psychological, sociological, or anthropological study. It is a series of incomplete conversations with grieving [humans, people, women, girls] who have, at some point in time since their loss, told someone what happened, kissed someone, fucked someone, been touched, caressed, hugged by someone, loved someone, felt vulnerable, felt impenetrable, felt everything, or felt nothing at all.

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me: do you think that your…

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