Essay about Dating and the Single Parent

1972 Words Dec 16th, 2014 8 Pages
Christine R. Rykhus

Book Critique
Dating and the Single Parent

Dr. Ken Nichols
PACO 603 D02

In the book Dating and the Single Parent Ron Deal walks the single parent through the process of dating again. This book is broken into three sections. Section one has five chapters and is titled “Getting Past the Butterflies and Warm Fuzzes.” In the beginning Deal starts with “Dating in a Crowd: Dating with Purpose.” (29) With this in mind the reader begins to understand you will be dating the entire family. Deal describes different types of daters, and warns the reader against the “Consumer daters who want guarantees” (44) about the dates. These consumer daters want the dates to be their all in all and meet their
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Counselors should consider a postponement of a marriage if one of the clients comes in with any character traits like: “quick temper, intimidating, anger reactions, chemical or physical abuse, can’t say no, constantly blaming others, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, problems staying calm, financial problems, disengagement with family, hiding previous relationships, or diagnosed personality disorder.” (147-148) If a person has experienced or is experiencing one of these challenges, this counselor will strongly suggest that it is dealt with before the marriage takes place. One of these problems will cause too much stress for most marriages to overcome.
Deal suggests there are red stoplights. If you “have extreme differences in parenting styles” (151) you need to stop dating. This counselor would agree. Raising children is a very hard job when you agree; however, when you disagree children tend to play one parent off the other causing conflict between the parents. You need to remember you are not only marrying the person, but also the children. Another red light could be the ex-spouse. If he/she causes constant trouble, you will be in constant turmoil in the new marriage and will need to consider canceling your plans to marry.
Deal suggests other red flags such as cohabitation. This counselor would agree with Deal that cohabitation leans toward persons “who have negative attitudes toward marriage, increase their divorce risk by 50%, are

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