Compass U. Article: How To Be An Amazing Parent

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Summary
How to be an Amazing Parent
Great parents are a rare commodity.

So many try, but most are absolutely clueless.

And then they use the “these are my kids, I’ll raise them how I want” excuse.

…they simply won’t admit to being in the wrong or being a failure.

But like all things in life, you can figure things out if you think about it and you can become successful if you apply the right principles.

And if you are reading this, I really do think you have the potential to be a great parent.

Desire Must Come From Within

This is the biggest failure of most parents. The failure to understand that motivation, desire, passion, and success must come from within.

This means within your child, not you.

In other words, you
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But they’ll never know I was behind the scenes.

Oh, yes they will. They may not figure it out at the moment, but they’ll remember and connect the dots eventually as they get older and wiser.

Once you manipulate someone, the relationship is forever ruined.

You can try to repair it, but once someone sees you as a manipulator the relationship will never be the same.

This means no lying, no guilt trips, no false promises (and don’t break your real promises either), and no long lectures trying to convince them to do your goals.

Let them decide the life they want and support them along the way.

Ultimately, your job as a parent isn’t to guide/manipulate your child but to support them.

If you want to have a good relationship with your offspring from childhood to adulthood, you must never manipulate them.

And if you truly love them, you would never do such a thing.

I think Harvard professor Tal Ben-Shahar said it right in his book, Happier, that when someone has unconditional love for another, they would want them to express their core self; not give them a forced role to live up to. In other words, they try to draw out those unique qualities that make you,
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Emotional Availability Modulates Electrophysiological Correlates of Executive Functions in Preschool Children. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 2016. Vol. 10, DOI: 10.3389/fnhum.2016.00299

Correcting Your Child
NEVER Hit Your Child

In a meta-analysis (a scientific study on all the scientific studies that cover the issue) about spanking, it was shown that spanking is associated with aggression and mental illness in children.
Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors and
Experiences: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review. Psychological Bulletin 2002. Vol. 128, No. 4, 539–579, DOI: 10.1037/0033-2909.128.4.539

Furthermore, another study found spanking children has been associated with brain deficits in the following areas: the amygdala (fight or flight response), the hippocampus (long-term memory), the corpus callosum (interbrain communication), and the prefrontal cortex (decision-making).
Neuroimaging of child abuse: a critical review. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 2012 Vol. 6, DOI: 10.3389/fnhum.2012.00052

Don’t hit your kids, it isn’t worth it.

How to Discipline with

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