KARNSTREET is a gritty, crime drama that centers on two major rival gangs. Their rivalry leads to a vicious gang war. The script does a nice job of showing the violent side of gangsters and their need for control. The stakes are life and death.
While there are certainly strengths to the presentation, the script would benefit from more development in the area of structure, pace, and character development, as well as the professional presentation.
First, the opening nicely sets the tone of the world when Riley kills someone. The audience knows this world is violent and fierce. However, it would have been more effective if Riley had killed a rival gang member instigating the gang war. This would make for a compelling inciting event. Right …show more content…
The audience doesn’t root for him or relate with him. It’s pivotal that the viewers find a way to emotionally engage to Jack. However, Jack is too cold-blooded. He’s not a very exciting character or engaging. His only redeeming quality is that he wants to take care of Faith, and at the end he lets her go. However, this isn’t enough to redeem his actions. Thus, without a central character to care about, there’s little emotional investment and interest in the outcome of the story.
Jack doesn’t have to be a good character. He can be flawed and amoral, but he has to have some compelling feature that will draw in the audience. For example, THE GODFATHER does this well. Even though all the main characters are gangsters, they are compelling and complex characters. GOODFELLAS also does this by making the main character charming and conflicted.
In addition, Jack’s actionable goal is never well defined. He reacts to events, but he never really has any plan of action or goal. He’s not very proactive. The audience doesn’t know what to root for.
The structure and plot doesn’t feel goal-focused. Sometimes the story focuses on Skelly, sometimes it focuses on Faith, etc. The story need to feel like there’s a goal to
While there are certainly strengths to the presentation, the script would benefit from more development in the area of structure, pace, and character development, as well as the professional presentation.
First, the opening nicely sets the tone of the world when Riley kills someone. The audience knows this world is violent and fierce. However, it would have been more effective if Riley had killed a rival gang member instigating the gang war. This would make for a compelling inciting event. Right …show more content…
The audience doesn’t root for him or relate with him. It’s pivotal that the viewers find a way to emotionally engage to Jack. However, Jack is too cold-blooded. He’s not a very exciting character or engaging. His only redeeming quality is that he wants to take care of Faith, and at the end he lets her go. However, this isn’t enough to redeem his actions. Thus, without a central character to care about, there’s little emotional investment and interest in the outcome of the story.
Jack doesn’t have to be a good character. He can be flawed and amoral, but he has to have some compelling feature that will draw in the audience. For example, THE GODFATHER does this well. Even though all the main characters are gangsters, they are compelling and complex characters. GOODFELLAS also does this by making the main character charming and conflicted.
In addition, Jack’s actionable goal is never well defined. He reacts to events, but he never really has any plan of action or goal. He’s not very proactive. The audience doesn’t know what to root for.
The structure and plot doesn’t feel goal-focused. Sometimes the story focuses on Skelly, sometimes it focuses on Faith, etc. The story need to feel like there’s a goal to