An Essay About Destructive Conflict

1008 Words Sep 6th, 2015 null Page
Destructive Conflict Unfortunately, all of the four horsemen characteristics have been used against me at one time in my life. However, in a previous relationship, Esther, my girlfriend at the time, used the defensive characteristics effectively against me, and was used in harmful ways. Early on in our relationship, everything was amazing, perfect girl, perfect family, and everything seemed to be going smooth. However, one afternoon I became extremely ill to the point that I was hospitalized when I passed out. Eventually, I awoke 5 days later in the ICU and had no recollection of where I was at, unfortunately, no one notified my girlfriend where I was at. However, once she was notified, she did visit me, but displayed emotional pain and distance after that. There was such a disconnection that occurred between us, that this lead to chronic fighting and separation. As a result, I have come to the realization that I now use stonewalling constantly in my life. After that destructive relationship, whenever I feel tension, I effectively stonewall. I have begun to use this mode not only in my personal life, but in my professional life at work. At work, I feel no need to engage and participate in the conversation that arise throughout the day, I chose to sit and do my job requirements and work my required hours. However, I lessen the use of stonewalling at work and employ the use of holding back. It is essential to hold back what I really want to express but do not feel…

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