Chapter One
The sound of the door slamming was deafening to my ears. He slammed the door with a thunderous crash. I stood in the kitchen staring at the door for a long, quiet moment and then knelt down to pick up the pieces. I had given him a letter and he had torn the unread letter into tiny pieces and threw it at me before he called me a f**ing bitch and stormed out the door. He had never called me a bitch before as a matter of fact no man had ever called me a bitch. I considered the word “bitch “ to be one of the most derogatory things a man could say to a woman. Definitely, grounds for divorce. There I was picking up the torn pieces of paper looking at the words I had written earlier. Love, understand, counseling, can’t live and sorry. …show more content…
I nagged about wanting to go out with our few friends. I nagged about his drinking and I nagged about his constant sleeping. I guess he was right, I was a bitch if being a bitch meant nagging for a better marriage. I wanted anything other than the emptiness and loneliness I felt in our marriage. Things had taken a turn for the worse when somehow or another he had been written a prescription for the drug Adderall. Adderall is prescribed for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). He was lazy and slept when he wasn’t working, eating or drinking. He did not have ADHD, he was the exact opposite, yet he had a filled prescription. I remember when he had told me he had gotten a prescription for Adderall. He was excited. He liked being high. I never did drugs so I didn’t get it. I bitched at him about taking a drug that he didn’t need saying “ That is an amphetamine and highly addictive. It will …show more content…
“ Little did I know how prophetic that statement was. I knew about speed because I had been a pharmaceutical rep 20 years earlier and I had also sold drug of abuse testing equipment in the 80’s. He told me he had a special kind of ADD and the Doctor said the drug would help him. I wish now I had gone to see that Doctor maybe my second husband would not have had to go through the crap he went through because of his alcohol and drug use. I didn’t go see that Doctor. I wrote my soon to be second ex husband a letter. A letter that was in tiny pieces in my trembling hand. I started to cry. I had not cried over this marriage because I had decided I would stay till our son turned 18. I had to be tough to get through 10 more years of a shitty marriage. I thought it was the “right” thing to do when you have a kid involved. It really doesn’t matter in the long run, your kid is affected either way. I hate that. I sat on the floor and cried and cried and cried. I cried for me, for my son, for my pets and for the fear that was crippling my soul. How was I going to make it as a single mom. I had been a stay at home Mom since my son was born. I hadn’t worked since 1986 and it was
The sound of the door slamming was deafening to my ears. He slammed the door with a thunderous crash. I stood in the kitchen staring at the door for a long, quiet moment and then knelt down to pick up the pieces. I had given him a letter and he had torn the unread letter into tiny pieces and threw it at me before he called me a f**ing bitch and stormed out the door. He had never called me a bitch before as a matter of fact no man had ever called me a bitch. I considered the word “bitch “ to be one of the most derogatory things a man could say to a woman. Definitely, grounds for divorce. There I was picking up the torn pieces of paper looking at the words I had written earlier. Love, understand, counseling, can’t live and sorry. …show more content…
I nagged about wanting to go out with our few friends. I nagged about his drinking and I nagged about his constant sleeping. I guess he was right, I was a bitch if being a bitch meant nagging for a better marriage. I wanted anything other than the emptiness and loneliness I felt in our marriage. Things had taken a turn for the worse when somehow or another he had been written a prescription for the drug Adderall. Adderall is prescribed for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). He was lazy and slept when he wasn’t working, eating or drinking. He did not have ADHD, he was the exact opposite, yet he had a filled prescription. I remember when he had told me he had gotten a prescription for Adderall. He was excited. He liked being high. I never did drugs so I didn’t get it. I bitched at him about taking a drug that he didn’t need saying “ That is an amphetamine and highly addictive. It will …show more content…
“ Little did I know how prophetic that statement was. I knew about speed because I had been a pharmaceutical rep 20 years earlier and I had also sold drug of abuse testing equipment in the 80’s. He told me he had a special kind of ADD and the Doctor said the drug would help him. I wish now I had gone to see that Doctor maybe my second husband would not have had to go through the crap he went through because of his alcohol and drug use. I didn’t go see that Doctor. I wrote my soon to be second ex husband a letter. A letter that was in tiny pieces in my trembling hand. I started to cry. I had not cried over this marriage because I had decided I would stay till our son turned 18. I had to be tough to get through 10 more years of a shitty marriage. I thought it was the “right” thing to do when you have a kid involved. It really doesn’t matter in the long run, your kid is affected either way. I hate that. I sat on the floor and cried and cried and cried. I cried for me, for my son, for my pets and for the fear that was crippling my soul. How was I going to make it as a single mom. I had been a stay at home Mom since my son was born. I hadn’t worked since 1986 and it was