The Importance Of Loss In My Life
About ten months after we had lost our home, Alyssa drowned in a five gallon bucket of water that we kept for the dogs. She had just begun to walk. I remember finding her and feeling helpless and that it was somehow my fault. I felt responsible for her. I was supposed to be watching out for her, to be her big sister, but I failed. I blamed myself for a long time, but one day I told this to my dad who had a long discussion with me about how that was impossible. He said there was no way a four year old could be responsible for an infant. That put it into some perspective for me, and was the first step in my life long choice to learn from change. I loved Alyssa and I grieved her passing. But rather than living in guilt and sorrow, I tried to move on. I know it wasn’t my fault and that Alyssa would want me to be happy. When my little brother was born a year later I swore I would take care of him and protect him. I would be responsible for him and show him how to be responsible.
The next four years of my life are filled with good memories. My parents did a lot of traveling and I was able to experience international travel and the “Lower …show more content…
I was eight and my brother was three. It was the Fourth of July and we had just had a cake fight. I was there with my Mom, down by our creek, washing the icing out of our hair, when she seemed to just “click off.” Afterwards, my Dad decided to relocate our family to the rural island of Molokai in Hawaii. This coincided with my enrollment in school for the first time. As devastating as the loss of my Mother was, this new beginning brought new friendships, a new culture and a beautiful new home. Until this year, our household has been just my Dad, my brother and