March 17, 2003 would be the day that would have, could have, should have would forever be engraved in my head forever.
I was driving home from work at Alta View Hospital. I worked the early shift which was no fun to wake up for but nice to get off earlier in the afternoon. My phone had to stay in my locker all day so by the time I had walked to my car my missed calls and messages for the day were hitting my phone. As I climbed into my car and sat looking at my text messages and missed calls I found it odd that I had several missed calls from my best friend’s boyfriend Matt. I began to leave the parking lot and drive home. It was a nice, sunny spring day so I decided to crack the windows a bit for fresh air even though I was getting on the freeway. …show more content…
When he answered I said hello and asked him what was up and why he had called so much? He asked where I was, I told him I was driving home. He asked me to pull over so he could talk to me. As I began to pull over I got a sick feeling in my stomach. A few weeks’ prior my best friend’s little sister had tried to take her life and the first thing that popped in my head was that she had tried again and had been successful. As I pulled over and came to a stop I said is it Ashton? He said no but I have some terrible news. He said that it was Jessica, my best friends. He began to tell me that they had been in Wendover, I said I know we were supposed to go with you. He told me that he woke up next to her and when he rolled over that her lips were blue. He tried to wake her but she was unresponsive. As he is telling me this I am thinking no this can’t be happening I should have been there, If I had just been there. He told me that he pulled her on the floor and began CPR and had the other friend that was with them call 911. I am listening but all I am is thinking is if I was there I could have been doing the CPR. He then tells me that when the paramedics got there …show more content…
I went inside and picked up the phone. I dialed her mother’s phone number. As it began to ring tears sprung to my eyes and my heart began to race. When she answered the voice I heard was not the voice of the strong woman I had known for so long. Her voice was broken and quiet. The only thing I could get out was I am so sorry. She said what are you sorry for? I began to tell her what I had been running through my head. I should have been there, I should have told you what was going on and asked you to help her. I would have been able to save her if I had just been more available. I could have been a better friend and done more for her. As I was telling her all of this I could hear her quietly crying over the phone. When I stopped talking what she said to me I will never will forget. She said to me that she loved me and that I was the best friend that I could have been. She told me that even if I had been there Jessica might not have made the same choices but she most likely would have another time. She told me I could have told them but that they already knew but that she had refused help from them. She told me to stop with the could have, should have and would have because no one could save Jessica but
I was driving home from work at Alta View Hospital. I worked the early shift which was no fun to wake up for but nice to get off earlier in the afternoon. My phone had to stay in my locker all day so by the time I had walked to my car my missed calls and messages for the day were hitting my phone. As I climbed into my car and sat looking at my text messages and missed calls I found it odd that I had several missed calls from my best friend’s boyfriend Matt. I began to leave the parking lot and drive home. It was a nice, sunny spring day so I decided to crack the windows a bit for fresh air even though I was getting on the freeway. …show more content…
When he answered I said hello and asked him what was up and why he had called so much? He asked where I was, I told him I was driving home. He asked me to pull over so he could talk to me. As I began to pull over I got a sick feeling in my stomach. A few weeks’ prior my best friend’s little sister had tried to take her life and the first thing that popped in my head was that she had tried again and had been successful. As I pulled over and came to a stop I said is it Ashton? He said no but I have some terrible news. He said that it was Jessica, my best friends. He began to tell me that they had been in Wendover, I said I know we were supposed to go with you. He told me that he woke up next to her and when he rolled over that her lips were blue. He tried to wake her but she was unresponsive. As he is telling me this I am thinking no this can’t be happening I should have been there, If I had just been there. He told me that he pulled her on the floor and began CPR and had the other friend that was with them call 911. I am listening but all I am is thinking is if I was there I could have been doing the CPR. He then tells me that when the paramedics got there …show more content…
I went inside and picked up the phone. I dialed her mother’s phone number. As it began to ring tears sprung to my eyes and my heart began to race. When she answered the voice I heard was not the voice of the strong woman I had known for so long. Her voice was broken and quiet. The only thing I could get out was I am so sorry. She said what are you sorry for? I began to tell her what I had been running through my head. I should have been there, I should have told you what was going on and asked you to help her. I would have been able to save her if I had just been more available. I could have been a better friend and done more for her. As I was telling her all of this I could hear her quietly crying over the phone. When I stopped talking what she said to me I will never will forget. She said to me that she loved me and that I was the best friend that I could have been. She told me that even if I had been there Jessica might not have made the same choices but she most likely would have another time. She told me I could have told them but that they already knew but that she had refused help from them. She told me to stop with the could have, should have and would have because no one could save Jessica but