Reflective Essay On Changing Fate

1109 Words 5 Pages
Changing Fate
Deep inside I felt worthless and alone, others expected me to fail, but being abused made me stronger. I have learned how to recognise and set myself free from toxic relationships, circumstances, and thoughts by watching the lives of the ones closest to me, particularly my mother. After I stopped letting negative circumstances impact and define me, I began capturing everything I really wanted in life.
Before, I talk about the event that impacted me most growing up, I’d like to explain a little as to why the abuse was overlooked in my family. I was born into an extremely religious family. In fact, so religious, that if you did not carry yourself a certain way, or live a what was taught to be, ”perfect life” according to the rules
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My life was beginning to look like a replica of my mother’s. My family began attacking me, “She’ll be pregnant by 16, like her mother, only unwedded.” Everything, I heard being told sounded true. By 15, I was already seeing the patterns of abuse in my own relationships, but I knew there was a difference between my mother and I. No one else could see it, but I always got away from these relationships, steadily learning how to take steps away from the abuse, progressing. I was just starting life, already expected to fail by people that needed to be supporting me. I got angry, I accepted that I would never be perfect, but I wasn't going to become an abused housewife, or handicapped by criticism any longer. I was going to prove everyone …show more content…
Researching traits of healthy relationships, since there were no quality examples in my life. Next, I began to make adjustments to myself. I had to work on the how hateful I would become when I got angry. I had a problem with lashing out, I used to say things I knew would hurt someone the most, any time someone hurt my feelings. I had become calloused and numb to other people’s emotions. Looking back, I realise it was my biggest defense growing up, having a hard shell, but it was no longer necessary. I took these walls down, and let myself begin genuinely caring about people once again, like before my father began drinking. I didn't want to carry any of my toxic behaviors, into a potentially healthy relationship. I was bettering myself, while finishing high

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