Reflection On AA Meetings

When I first heard other people sharing from a top table or the body of the hall about their spiritual awakening, I didn’t believe them. I wanted to quiz them on it so that I could catch them out. I thought they were just repeating parrot fashion what they had heard other people sharing so that they would appear clever. Then I heard a woman sharing about hers who previously I had met, chatted to a wee bit and heard sharing from the body of the hall about how she was struggling to stay sober and was demented with the struggle. Here she was a different person, calm, serene and carrying the AA message. I believed her; I knew what she had been like and saw what she was like now. I guess the expression, ‘if you don’t believe what you hear at AA meetings, believe what you see’ applied to me. Maybe I wasn’t able to trust what other people said because I …show more content…
I didn’t think of anyone else or their welfare much at all. Before the programme was in my heart I only did the right thing if it happened to fall in with what I wanted. Then when I eventually started doing the things I should be doing, I only did them because I knew I would feel bad about myself if I didn’t. Now I can do the things I should be doing without a grudge or resentment, often without a second thought. What I want to do is different now so doing the right thing is easier.
My spiritual awakening wasn’t less than, it was just different from. I didn’t develop a strong connection with a God of my understanding that other people spoke of (maybe that’s a ‘yet’ for me) but my mind opened up, my heart started to soften, I began to stop projecting so much and I began to start living sober one day at a time and doing the next right thing. Good Orderly Direction was working in me. By looking at and letting go of my resentments, fears and the guilt I felt for harming others, I was able to start living in the sunlight of the spirit. My spirit was now able to grow and blossom – thanks to