There’s something to be said for adopting an “older child.” They come to you with a distinct history - a personality already formed in a life before they knew you. The journey is different than when the adoption is that of a newborn baby.
Consider these Tips from Adoptive Parents of Older Children:
“What I Wish I Had Known Before the Adoption”
It’s okay to need help. Many parents, adoptive or not, are ashamed to admit that they might be having trouble in their family – particularly one that they wanted so badly. When you find yourself needing help, don’t try to deny it or handle it on your own quietly. Get help!
Consider the fact that your prospective adopted child might appreciate (and even need) the opportunity to say yes. Older children needing placement often had difficult situations in their past – things have happened to them. Some have been abandoned, others neglected and others mistreated. Some have been removed from their …show more content…
Almost any older child you adopt will have had major interruptions/disruptions in their world and with their primary caregivers. Many may have never had an adult that they were able to create a bond with regardless of the number of adults that passed through their life. Some may even have developed defensive survival skills to protect themselves from the lack they have experienced that will make it difficult to generate a bond even when there is an adult ready and willing and desperate to do so. It’s extremely important that you take immediate opportunities to develop a bond or at least the beginnings of a bond. When you are spending time with your adopted child in the very beginning, step in to comfort them. Set down your bags and hold their hand. Let someone else carry your items. These are the moments when they will be the most scared and vulnerable. Establish yourself right away as the one/s they can turn to. Establish yourself as Mom and
Consider these Tips from Adoptive Parents of Older Children:
“What I Wish I Had Known Before the Adoption”
It’s okay to need help. Many parents, adoptive or not, are ashamed to admit that they might be having trouble in their family – particularly one that they wanted so badly. When you find yourself needing help, don’t try to deny it or handle it on your own quietly. Get help!
Consider the fact that your prospective adopted child might appreciate (and even need) the opportunity to say yes. Older children needing placement often had difficult situations in their past – things have happened to them. Some have been abandoned, others neglected and others mistreated. Some have been removed from their …show more content…
Almost any older child you adopt will have had major interruptions/disruptions in their world and with their primary caregivers. Many may have never had an adult that they were able to create a bond with regardless of the number of adults that passed through their life. Some may even have developed defensive survival skills to protect themselves from the lack they have experienced that will make it difficult to generate a bond even when there is an adult ready and willing and desperate to do so. It’s extremely important that you take immediate opportunities to develop a bond or at least the beginnings of a bond. When you are spending time with your adopted child in the very beginning, step in to comfort them. Set down your bags and hold their hand. Let someone else carry your items. These are the moments when they will be the most scared and vulnerable. Establish yourself right away as the one/s they can turn to. Establish yourself as Mom and