However, I quickly learned that even though I felt safe, new struggles and emotions would arise. Being put in the care of strangers causes you to develop mental barriers. Your well-being and safety is now in the hands of people that you have no connection to. My foster family attempted to show my siblings and I what love was. Love was a distant feeling that I had never really seen. And yet, there I had two strangers desperately trying to show me what love was. I could easily see what they were trying to show me, but I was not able to receive it. Not only could I not receive this love, I could not give it back. My abusive past was holding me back from accepting this love. I had inherently learned that I could not trust anyone. Therefore, if I could not trust anyone, then I could not accept any positive emotion that they tried to convey to me. My construed view on love held me back from forming a connection with my foster parents.
The bond that I had with my siblings was the most solid thing that I had in my life. I knew that at the end of the day, we would have each other to rely on. It became my mission to protect our future together as best as I could. After