I Only Say This Because I Love You Analysis
Chapter one: “I Can’t Even Open My Mouth”
The main focus in the first chapter of the book has to do with metamessages in conversations. Tannen defines a metamessage as a “meaning that is not said” (Tannen D., 2001, p. 7). In other words, metamessages are the tones that one uses, the phrases and languages one uses, and the implication of the words. Metamessages are the actual meanings behind what someone says.
Tannen focuses on family relationships in this chapter. She mentions that family members tend to criticize …show more content…
Parents who criticize their adult children often cause fights between each other. Parents seem to think they have more knowledge and when they try to explain things to their children it creates the feeling of criticism. Tannen states that often the most hurtful meta-messages of family talk “is the implication of incompetence- even (if not especially) when the children grow up” (Tannen D., 2001, p. 23). She explains that grown children often hope for their parent’s approval and criticism can be hurtful. This is why communication is important in stopping people from getting hurt when meta-messages are