Reflective Essay Of Being Mindful

On most days, I did not like doing my mindfulness practice. I felt as if it was just this minor annoyance I just had to get done and out of the way every day. The majority of the time I was trying to be mindful it would just result in me stressing over things that I still had to accomplish in school, my social life, or athletics. There were often times in my average uneventful days in which I enjoyed doing the mindfulness practice, but on the rare occasion in which my day would turn negatively, that I felt mindfulness had its biggest impact on me. I honestly think that because in my life it is often when things are going badly that I tend to blow minor problems into a greater level than they actually deserve. So, when I would do this being …show more content…
By the time the practical test came up the effects of how well mindfulness had worked when I was down on myself had now worn off and I was back to not really appreciating mindfulness. Now I had been studying for this practical for two weeks and I normally did well on practical so even when I was doing mindfulness the worry of this test did not weigh heavily on it. By the night of the test I believe I had prepared the best I possibly could and was ready to take it. This thought turned out to be false. I performed almost equally on this practically to what I did on the test and now I was distraught. To have worked so hard and to come up short in a class where the professor on multiple occasions has chastised the class for no trying hard enough made me feel life a failure. After the test I quickly left the field house, ashamed to say with tears in my eyes, and did not know where to go. I did not want to go back to my suite because I did not want my roommates to see me, so instead I decided to go sit by the lake a be mindful. I honestly do not know why being mindful came to my mind in that moment, but it just seems as if I had now become accustomed to turning to it the moment things get