I Am A My Heart Essay

1208 Words Sep 21st, 2015 5 Pages
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. My heart raced as I stood in front of my eighth grade Teen Leadership class to present a simple one-minute speech about myself. I wiped my sweaty palms on my khaki pants and tried to remember the speech that I had practiced in front of the mirror a thousand times. The entire class stared at my trembling hands, and l wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I could feel my whole face turn blazing red and my mind went blank. Twenty seconds in, and I had barely uttered my name. Where was my courage when I needed it? I vowed that day never to let my shyness and social anxiety take control of my life again.
The example of my panic attack in eighth grade was not a first for me; unfortunately, I had grown accustomed to the fear daily interaction brought. While in middle school, being petrified to go to school was a daily struggle for me. Beginning fifth grade in a new school, my shyness evolved into panic attacks. The ironic thing about my social anxiety was that I had friends. I talked some in class, but deep inside every word I said was carefully said in my head over and over before I said a word out loud. Why was I so nervous or shy? I worried about making a fool of myself to the point of making myself sick on occasion. For example, I remember sitting in history and having the feeling of my heart beating out of my chest, and I begged my mother to take me to the hospital after school. After countless tests, the doctor said that I must have had a panic attack. Things…

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