The Intergenerational Sounds of Silence:
Denial, Dysfunction, and Healing in David Small’s Stitches and My Life
David Small’s Stitches is an acclaimed graphic memoir that reflects the intergenerational effects of denial, silence, and repression in a young boy’s life. The dysfunction of my own family goes back generations, and is inextricably linked to the ways in which my parents and their parents and their parents’ parents grew up: in a world rife with unchecked anger, manipulation and denial. As time has passed, however, Small and I have both discovered that the exposure of the candid truth, the courage to embrace it, and the choice to make change sets the impetus for healing.
A pervasive family culture of silence and suppression based …show more content…
Upon moving to Southeastern Indiana with his mother to live with his grandfather and sadistic grandmother, Small’s mother goes off to play golf with a friend, leaving Small alone with his grandmother (83). Upset about the “meager and dry” supper he receives from his grandmother, he looks at it with disgust, angering his grandmother who huffs: “Then don’t eat it! Git upstairs and git ready for bed. This minute!” (90). Small protests (90). As punishment for talking back, Small’s grandmother violently drags Small up the stairs and forcefully washes his hands in scalding hot water (94). When his mother finally comes home, Small attempts to explain what happened: “She’s crazy!” (101). His mother erupts with anger, saying “Listen to me: I don’t ever want to hear you use that word again! Do you hear me? Never!” (102). Small believes “that [his grandmother] was justified...and that I deserved everything I had gotten” (97). The anger of his mother he experiences when he attempts to speak the truth shuts down Small's emotions and thoughts about the horrible experience. A child, like Small, living in a confusing world in which the truth is not accepted, develops a warped sense …show more content…
Now, I am finding my identity beyond being what my parents are not. I’m also learning that I still am my parents’ daughter, and while I used to resent the parts of me that are similar to my parents — my looks, my dramatic way of writing, my critical eye — I now embrace these things, but choose not to use them in the same way past generations in my family did. Now, I am developing a new story with a theme of love, honesty, and openness in my close relationships. David Small's life was an inspiration for me, and certainly for those others out there who are also haunted by the brokenness of family history. The very action of publishing a memoir about his dysfunctional past that can be read by the public shows how far Small has gone to bring about healing. It shows that there is hope for those who live in dysfunctional families characterized by silence, denial, and anger that go back
Denial, Dysfunction, and Healing in David Small’s Stitches and My Life
David Small’s Stitches is an acclaimed graphic memoir that reflects the intergenerational effects of denial, silence, and repression in a young boy’s life. The dysfunction of my own family goes back generations, and is inextricably linked to the ways in which my parents and their parents and their parents’ parents grew up: in a world rife with unchecked anger, manipulation and denial. As time has passed, however, Small and I have both discovered that the exposure of the candid truth, the courage to embrace it, and the choice to make change sets the impetus for healing.
A pervasive family culture of silence and suppression based …show more content…
Upon moving to Southeastern Indiana with his mother to live with his grandfather and sadistic grandmother, Small’s mother goes off to play golf with a friend, leaving Small alone with his grandmother (83). Upset about the “meager and dry” supper he receives from his grandmother, he looks at it with disgust, angering his grandmother who huffs: “Then don’t eat it! Git upstairs and git ready for bed. This minute!” (90). Small protests (90). As punishment for talking back, Small’s grandmother violently drags Small up the stairs and forcefully washes his hands in scalding hot water (94). When his mother finally comes home, Small attempts to explain what happened: “She’s crazy!” (101). His mother erupts with anger, saying “Listen to me: I don’t ever want to hear you use that word again! Do you hear me? Never!” (102). Small believes “that [his grandmother] was justified...and that I deserved everything I had gotten” (97). The anger of his mother he experiences when he attempts to speak the truth shuts down Small's emotions and thoughts about the horrible experience. A child, like Small, living in a confusing world in which the truth is not accepted, develops a warped sense …show more content…
Now, I am finding my identity beyond being what my parents are not. I’m also learning that I still am my parents’ daughter, and while I used to resent the parts of me that are similar to my parents — my looks, my dramatic way of writing, my critical eye — I now embrace these things, but choose not to use them in the same way past generations in my family did. Now, I am developing a new story with a theme of love, honesty, and openness in my close relationships. David Small's life was an inspiration for me, and certainly for those others out there who are also haunted by the brokenness of family history. The very action of publishing a memoir about his dysfunctional past that can be read by the public shows how far Small has gone to bring about healing. It shows that there is hope for those who live in dysfunctional families characterized by silence, denial, and anger that go back