Couples counseling is different from the individual counseling, couples counseling is active, structured, and the time is around 10 to 12 sessions. The individual counseling is passive, slow, and it takes months. The individual therapy, the therapist is always on the side of the client, while the therapist in the couple therapy never takes a side. Individual therapy, the therapist has to feel connected with the client, but the couple therapist, the therapist has to be close enough to understand the couples otherwise he or she will take a side. In the couple therapy, the therapist needs to be aware that the problem is not just between the couples, but it could be related to the individual level like; social interaction, communication, self centered, and dysfunctional relationship with others. The therapist may think about referring one of the couple or both to the individual therapy. Practice what you approach: If the therapist is experiencing a relationship problem in his or her life, the client may feel that and the therapist also can feel negative countertransference. The good news is when the therapist overcomes his or her struggles; he or she would be able to be an effective therapy due to his own life successful experience. The therapist has to be aware of his comparing style between the couples and his own struggles. 10 common reasons people are in couples counseling: 1- Poor communication. 2- Infidelity. 3- Abuse. 4- Parenting. 5- Meddling in law. 6- Financial problems. 7- Job stress. 8- Jealousy 9- Substance abuse. 10- Disillusionment with relationship (honey moon-reality-adjustment-challenges). Be aware with the client who has a hidden agenda. Be aware with the difficult client. You are doing worthwhile work. How to get the most out of counseling? 1- Appointment as priority. 2- Try new things under supervision, and or consulting with others. 3- Take responsibility for your mental health. 4- Give direct and honest feedback. First session: 1- Intake. 2- Build rapport. 3- Gather information (argument, yelling, hostility, anger, throwing or breaking objects, anxiety, domestic violent, low self-esteem, blaming, depressed mood, avoiding spend time with partner, withdrawal, resistant, jealousy, infidelity, pornography, financial problems, sexual attraction, parenting, and illness). Educate the client about the processes of the couple therapy. Discuss the initial concerns of the couples and their expectations. Review the inform consents and the no secret policy. Explain that the couple therapy is neutral, structured, educational, growing, changing, owning mistakes, and forgiveness. Explain that the couple therapy is not about who is wrong and who are right, fighting out, happy, forcing others to change, and blaming. Give a hope and provide confidence that the relationship can be saved: 1- Normalizing their experiences. 2- Let them know that you can help. 3- Highlight the good points of their relationship. Reveal potential: 1- Review the previous week. …show more content…
Ask:
What problems are you currently experiencing that haven’t been addressed yet?
What would you like to work on today?
Help the couple to find the core themes in their argument (disagreement):
1- Trust vs. mistrust, what is standing on the way of trust?
• Be open to your partner’s opinion.
• Be open and honest to answer all your partner’s questions to rebuild the trust.
• When your partner feels that you are honest, the control will despaired because he or she will be less anxious.
2- Appreciation or reality vs. expectations.
• Express appreciation even you see that is normal and what the other partner is his or her duty.
• Do you think since the partner is doing these duties, so it is guaranteed?
• You both doing that because you love each other and you have a good friendship.
3- Respect vs. disrespect.
• When do you feel that your partner disrespect you?
• Do you see your partner is abusing the relationship verbally?
• What do you expect in the light of respect from your …show more content…
According to the REBT theory, the thoughts produce feelings, the feelings will produce actions, and these entire components make person dysfunction. The other three components are ABC, the A = active events, the B = beliefs or thoughts, and the C = consequences or how you felt or behaved in reaction to your beliefs about events. When we react in a dysfunctional way or disturbed way, it is because of irrational beliefs. The therapist can identify the dysfunction by listening carefully to the couple’s words of absolutist like; always, must, have to, and