THE GREAT BLUE is a screenplay inspired by the Moby Dick fable. However, the script offers the audience a new twist: it’s Moby Dick in space. It’s an intriguing concept. The movie ALIEN took “Jaws” and created a successful film in space, thus giving this script merit. The script is driven by themes about second chances, fate, and destiny.
The script features the characters from the famous tale. The goal is clear and the stakes are high. While there are some very exciting moments in this script, the overall structure, pace, and tension would benefit from more development.
The story is told from the point of view of Ishmael, however, he doesn’t always drive the story and his goal for adventure (and to study humans) isn’t as strong as Captain …show more content…
Make sure to have him drive the story and give him stronger, defining moments.
Ahab has a very strong personality. His voice is consistent with his goal and with his values. His motivation is clear. As mentioned, introduce him earlier and have him interaction more with Starbuck and Ishmael.
Starbuck is the most emotionally conflicted. It’s smart to make her a woman. Elevate her chemistry with Ishmael. As executed, the audience doesn’t feel the attraction they have for each other. Actually give them more conflict to create sexual tension.
The supporting cast has some strong moments, but they aren’t consistent. Queequeg is strong in the opening, but fades, as does Flask.
As mentioned, make the Blue Whale more of a “character” like in JAWS.
Overall, the script is heavy with dialogue and this is an area that slows down the pace and dilutes the tension. Some examples are: page 78 and 103. However, overall streamline and trim the dialogue and convert to action.
As stated, elevate the overall tension. The first half doesn’t generate much compelling tension. Create strong storms, or when Ishmael has to go out into space to repair the vessel, intensify the action and the …show more content…
It’s even a bit distressing to watch, but it provides for more action-oriented, exciting scenes.
Also, consider elevating the tone to feel grittier. Include stronger language and create a more foreboding tone.
SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
The concept has merit. With that said, there may be some who will not adapt to the idea of using well-known characters for this story. If this becomes an issue, just simply change the names.
Reorganize the structure. Create a stronger, more exciting opening that sets the tone.
Consider introducing the Captain earlier and clarifying the true goal and stakes. Let this drive act two.
Consider that they find the Blue Whale at the midpoint.
Then show their plan of action to capture or kill, but they fail.
Focus more on the core characters and their relationships to each other.
Make Ishmael a more exciting and engaging character. Make sure he drives the action and that he has inner conflict. Give him stronger choices to make. Also, give him a more compelling voice.
Elevate his chemistry with Starbuck (conflict and attraction).
Elevate action and movement and trim the dialogue, which slows the
The script features the characters from the famous tale. The goal is clear and the stakes are high. While there are some very exciting moments in this script, the overall structure, pace, and tension would benefit from more development.
The story is told from the point of view of Ishmael, however, he doesn’t always drive the story and his goal for adventure (and to study humans) isn’t as strong as Captain …show more content…
Make sure to have him drive the story and give him stronger, defining moments.
Ahab has a very strong personality. His voice is consistent with his goal and with his values. His motivation is clear. As mentioned, introduce him earlier and have him interaction more with Starbuck and Ishmael.
Starbuck is the most emotionally conflicted. It’s smart to make her a woman. Elevate her chemistry with Ishmael. As executed, the audience doesn’t feel the attraction they have for each other. Actually give them more conflict to create sexual tension.
The supporting cast has some strong moments, but they aren’t consistent. Queequeg is strong in the opening, but fades, as does Flask.
As mentioned, make the Blue Whale more of a “character” like in JAWS.
Overall, the script is heavy with dialogue and this is an area that slows down the pace and dilutes the tension. Some examples are: page 78 and 103. However, overall streamline and trim the dialogue and convert to action.
As stated, elevate the overall tension. The first half doesn’t generate much compelling tension. Create strong storms, or when Ishmael has to go out into space to repair the vessel, intensify the action and the …show more content…
It’s even a bit distressing to watch, but it provides for more action-oriented, exciting scenes.
Also, consider elevating the tone to feel grittier. Include stronger language and create a more foreboding tone.
SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
The concept has merit. With that said, there may be some who will not adapt to the idea of using well-known characters for this story. If this becomes an issue, just simply change the names.
Reorganize the structure. Create a stronger, more exciting opening that sets the tone.
Consider introducing the Captain earlier and clarifying the true goal and stakes. Let this drive act two.
Consider that they find the Blue Whale at the midpoint.
Then show their plan of action to capture or kill, but they fail.
Focus more on the core characters and their relationships to each other.
Make Ishmael a more exciting and engaging character. Make sure he drives the action and that he has inner conflict. Give him stronger choices to make. Also, give him a more compelling voice.
Elevate his chemistry with Starbuck (conflict and attraction).
Elevate action and movement and trim the dialogue, which slows the