Description
Thomssen and Belle have a long history together. Their story is not all positive; rather it exemplifies a couple in conflict with one another. Thomssen met Belle when he was fourteen years old when Belle first moved to his neighborhood (Campbell, 2009). They were neighbors at the time, and their houses were so close that Thomssen could hear when Belle’s father was angry and ended his night by beating his daughter (Campbell, 2009). On those nights, Thomssen would secretly climb into Belle’s room to try to comfort her, which usually ended in the two having sexual relations (Campbell, 2009). However, while Thomssen viewed the act of making love to Belle as a way of comforting her, Belle viewed the events as Thomssen pushing himself …show more content…
Despite his brother advising him to get a divorce, Thomssen does not have the strength to leave Belle. Thomssen idealizes Belle, ignoring a majority of her faults. In a study conducted by Murry, Holmes, and Griffin (1996), researchers found that when a partner projects positive illusions onto their partner, their overall relationship satisfaction is higher. This phenomenon can begin to explain why Thomssen and Belle have stayed together because even though Belle has faults, Thomssen believes she is beautiful and heart-stopping (Campbell, 2009). Thomssen believes Belle can do no wrong because her mistakes are simply a result of the environment she is in and his own failure to save her (Campbell, 2009). The Pratfall effect is also at play within this dyad because while Thomssen disregards Belle’s blatant faults (for example her abuse of drugs, her infidelity, and her manipulative behaviors), he hones in one of her faults and cannot forgive her for it. Thomssen argues that Belle does not “have any respect for tradition” (Campbell, 2009, p. 96). It is clear that Thomssen takes issue with this, however, again Thomssen does not blame Belle for this shortcoming, rather he blames her father for beating the consideration out of her (Campbell, 2009). In addition to his projections and overlooking of her faults, another way Thomssen idealizes Belle is that he believes their love will …show more content…
According to the social exchange theory, an individual within an intimate relationship constantly compares the rewards and costs of being in a relationship, and when the costs outweigh the rewards, they can decide to terminate the relationship (Bradbury & Karney, 2010). Another layer to this theory is the idea of alternatives, and in order for an individual to end a relationship, they must believe that there are better options for them in the world (Bradbury & Karney, 2010). Because of Belle’s low self-esteem, she is likely to believe that there are no other alternative relationships available to her. Therefore, she is unlikely to dissolve her current relationship with Thomssen. In addition, Thomssen’s fantasy about his relationship with Belle will contribute to his unwillingness to end the relationship. Thomssen bases his own self-worth on the success of Belle’s life, meaning that if he were to let Belle become more addicted to substances or die from an overdose, he would never forgive himself. He feels a need to stay by her side, no matter what she does to him. However, it is unlikely that either of their satisfaction levels will change with time. For this to happen, both Belle and Thomssen would have to undergo difficult and drastic lifestyle changes, for instance removing all addictive substances from their lives and rededicating
Thomssen and Belle have a long history together. Their story is not all positive; rather it exemplifies a couple in conflict with one another. Thomssen met Belle when he was fourteen years old when Belle first moved to his neighborhood (Campbell, 2009). They were neighbors at the time, and their houses were so close that Thomssen could hear when Belle’s father was angry and ended his night by beating his daughter (Campbell, 2009). On those nights, Thomssen would secretly climb into Belle’s room to try to comfort her, which usually ended in the two having sexual relations (Campbell, 2009). However, while Thomssen viewed the act of making love to Belle as a way of comforting her, Belle viewed the events as Thomssen pushing himself …show more content…
Despite his brother advising him to get a divorce, Thomssen does not have the strength to leave Belle. Thomssen idealizes Belle, ignoring a majority of her faults. In a study conducted by Murry, Holmes, and Griffin (1996), researchers found that when a partner projects positive illusions onto their partner, their overall relationship satisfaction is higher. This phenomenon can begin to explain why Thomssen and Belle have stayed together because even though Belle has faults, Thomssen believes she is beautiful and heart-stopping (Campbell, 2009). Thomssen believes Belle can do no wrong because her mistakes are simply a result of the environment she is in and his own failure to save her (Campbell, 2009). The Pratfall effect is also at play within this dyad because while Thomssen disregards Belle’s blatant faults (for example her abuse of drugs, her infidelity, and her manipulative behaviors), he hones in one of her faults and cannot forgive her for it. Thomssen argues that Belle does not “have any respect for tradition” (Campbell, 2009, p. 96). It is clear that Thomssen takes issue with this, however, again Thomssen does not blame Belle for this shortcoming, rather he blames her father for beating the consideration out of her (Campbell, 2009). In addition to his projections and overlooking of her faults, another way Thomssen idealizes Belle is that he believes their love will …show more content…
According to the social exchange theory, an individual within an intimate relationship constantly compares the rewards and costs of being in a relationship, and when the costs outweigh the rewards, they can decide to terminate the relationship (Bradbury & Karney, 2010). Another layer to this theory is the idea of alternatives, and in order for an individual to end a relationship, they must believe that there are better options for them in the world (Bradbury & Karney, 2010). Because of Belle’s low self-esteem, she is likely to believe that there are no other alternative relationships available to her. Therefore, she is unlikely to dissolve her current relationship with Thomssen. In addition, Thomssen’s fantasy about his relationship with Belle will contribute to his unwillingness to end the relationship. Thomssen bases his own self-worth on the success of Belle’s life, meaning that if he were to let Belle become more addicted to substances or die from an overdose, he would never forgive himself. He feels a need to stay by her side, no matter what she does to him. However, it is unlikely that either of their satisfaction levels will change with time. For this to happen, both Belle and Thomssen would have to undergo difficult and drastic lifestyle changes, for instance removing all addictive substances from their lives and rededicating