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20 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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How much time do we spend communicating, how much time is spent listening?
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70% waking time is communicating and listening 45%.
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What are the 4 reasons for listening
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to understand, to evaluate, to build & maintain relationships, to help others.
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Explain the difference btwn listening and hearing.
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Hearing is the process in which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.
Listening occurs when the brain reconstructs these impulses to a representation of sound and gives meaning to it. Listening isn't automatic, hearing is. |
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Define: the 5 listening barriers
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1. Information overload: too much info can lead ppl to listen mindlessly rather than mindfully.
2. Personal Concerns- ppl can be wrapped up in personal concerns, making it hard to listen to others' messages. 3.Rapid Thought- we hear faster than we talk, so our minds can wonder off instead of paying attn. 4. Noise- physical and mental worlds present distractions that make it hard to pay attn. |
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Define the seven poor listening habits
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1. pseudo listening: imitation of listening, but the mind is somewhere else
2. stage hogs: interested only in expressing "their" ideas, & not what others have to say 3. fill in gaps: manufacture info. to seem like they "got it all". 4. Insulated listening: fail to hear/acknowledge certain topic areas. 5. selective listeners: respond only to the parts of a speaker's remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else. 6.defensive listening: take innocent comments as personal attacks 7. Ambusher: will listen carefully, only because thy are collecting info. that'll be used to attack what you have to say. |
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Silent Listening
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staying attentive & nonverbally responsive w/out offering any verbal feedback
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questioning
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occurs when the listener asks the speaker for additional info.
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what are the five reasons to ask sincere questions
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1. To clarify meanings
2. To learn about others' thoughts feelings and wants. 3. To encourage elaboration 4. To encourage discovery 5. To gather more facts & details |
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counterfeit questions
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ones disguised attempts to send a message, not receive one
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what are the 5 types of counterfeit questions
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1. Questions that trap the speaker
ex: "Don't you?..." or ...did you? 2. Questions that make statements. 3. ?'s that carry hidden agendas 4. Q's that seek "correct" answers- ex: "Do I look fat?" 5. Q's based on unchecked assumptions. Ex: why aren't u listening to me? |
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Define the five components of listening
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Hearing: the physiological aspect of listening- nonselective process
Attending: psychological process- filter out some messages & focus on others Understanding: depends on listeners' mental abilities Remembering: ability to recall info. once we've understood it. Responding: giving observable feedback to the speaker. |
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Paraphrasing
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feedback that restates in your own words the message you though the speaker sent
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What are the three types of paraphrasing statements?
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1. Change the speaker's wording
2. Offer an example of what you think the speaker is talking about 3. Reflect the underlying theme of the speaker's remarks. |
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Explain the 2 levels at which you can paraphrase messages
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Paraphrasing Factual Info: summarizing facts, data, & details during personal/ professional conversations (feedback).
Paraphrasing Personal Info.: listening to the "underlying message" -thoughts, feelings, and wants |
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Empathizing
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a response style listeners use when they want to show that they "identify" w/a speaker.
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Identify four non-empathizing behaviors
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1. Denying others the right to their feelings. ex: Don't worry about it. That's a silly way to feel.
2. Minimizing the significance of the situation 3.Self-defending 4.Raining on the speaker's parade |
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List the types of support.
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Agreement, offers to help, praise, reassurance, diversion
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What are the circumstances under which supporting is helpful?
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Personal support is helpful to relieve all problems. Big/small
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Discuss the 2 problems w/analyzing
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1. The interpretation might not be correct, the problem holder may become more confused.
2. Even if your analysis is accurate, sharing it w/the problem holder might not be useful.- may arouse defensiveness. |
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What are the guidelines to follow for helpful analysis? four
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1. Offer your interpretation in a tentative way rather than an absolute fact. ex: maybe it's because
2. Your analysis ought to have a reasonable chance of being correct. 3. Make sure the other person will be receptive to your analysis. 4. Be sure that your motive for offering an analysis is truly to help the other person |
