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18 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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How to mirror? (Isopraxism) |
Copy each other to comfort each other Speech patterns, body language, tempo, tonality etc |
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What’s the mirroring principle? |
Fear what is different and are drawn to what is similar |
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What does mirroring signal to another’s unconscious? |
Trust me We are similar- birds of a feather flock together |
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Verbal mirroring focuses on words, how? |
Repeat the last 3 words or critical 1-3 words of what somebody just said |
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What is most effective at establishing a connection: mirroring or positive reinforcement? |
Mirroring by far |
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Mirroring requires |
Silence after the mirror |
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How to confront without confrontation? |
1.Use the late-night FM DJ voice. 2.Start with “I’m sorry . . .” 3.Mirror. 4.Silence. At least four seconds, to let the mirror work its magic on your counterpart. 5.Repeat. |
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Every time you mirror someone, they will |
reword what they’ve said. They will never say it exactly the same way they said it the first time. |
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A good negotiator prepares, going in, to be ready for possible surprises; a great negotiator
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aims to use her skills to reveal the surprises she is certain to find. |
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To quiet the voices in your head… |
make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say. |
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Slow. It. Down. Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators are prone to making. If we’re too much in a hurry… |
people can feel as if they’re not being heard. You risk undermining the rapport and trust you’ve built. |
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When people are in a positive frame of mind, they think more quickly, and are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). Positivity creates mental agility in both you and your counterpart. So what should you do? |
Smile |
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instead of denying or ignoring emotions… |
good negotiators identify and influence them. They are able to precisely label emotions, those of others and especially their own. And once they label the emotions they talk about them without getting wound up. For them, emotion is a tool. Emotions aren’t the obstacles, they are the means. |
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The psychotherapist pokes and prods to understand his patient’s problems, and then … |
turns the responses back onto the patient to get him to go deeper and change his behavior. That’s exactly what good negotiators do. |
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You can learn almost everything you need—and a lot more than other people would like you to know—how? |
simply by watching and listening, keeping your eyes peeled and your ears open, and your mouth shut. |
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What is empathy? |
empathy is “the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart, and the vocalization of that recognition.” That’s an academic way of saying that empathy is paying attention to another human being, asking what they are feeling, and making a commitment to understand their world. Not agreeing with just understanding a situation from their perspective |
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What is tactical empathy? |
Tactical empathy is understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you increase your influence in all the moments that follow. It’s bringing our attention to both the emotional obstacles and the potential pathways to getting an agreement done. |
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What is neural resonance? |
Empathy is a classic “soft” communication skill, but it has a physical basis. When we closely observe a person’s face, gestures, and tone of voice, our brain begins to align with theirs in a process called neural resonance, and that lets us know more fully what they think and feel.
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