Interpersonal Communication Chapters 5,6, And 7

Front 1

Mindful listening

Back 1

you put thought and energy into listening

Front 2

Mindless listening

Back 2

where you react routinely and in a stock manner without putting too much mental energy into listening

Front 3

Reasons why we don't listen well

Back 3

-message overload
-preoccupation
-rapid thought
-hard work
-distractions
-faulty assumptions
-lack of apparent advantages
-not everyone is a good listener
-physical limitations

Front 4

Pseudo listening

Back 4

faking it

Front 5

Stage hogging

Back 5

let me tell you about (me)

Front 6

selective listening

Back 6

time in when interested

Front 7

insulated listening

Back 7

tune out when not interested

Front 8

defensive listening

Back 8

the other persons attacking me

Front 9

ambushing

Back 9

attacking and not listening, trying to catch a lie

Front 10

insensitive listening

Back 10

not caring what other person says

Front 11

How to listen better

Back 11

-talk less
-minimize distractions and interference
-try to withhold judgment
-listen for key ideas

Front 12

Prompting (responsive styles in listening)

Back 12

trying to draw out more info from the sender maybe saying things like "uh-huh"

Front 13

Questioning (responsive styles in listening)

Back 13

trying to draw out more info by using actual questions like "so how did she react when you told her that?"

Front 14

Sincere questions

Back 14

aimed at understanding others

Front 15

counterfeit questions

Back 15

aimed at sending a message, not receiving one

Front 16

paraphrasing

Back 16

statements that reword the listeners interpretation of a message

Front 17

How to paraphrase

Back 17

restate the other persons word in your own words

Front 18

Supporting

Back 18

reveals a listeners solidarity with the speakers situation

Front 19

active support

Back 19

where you say words to the sender that show your backing them in some way

Front 20

passive support

Back 20

avoiding criticism or avoiding giving them your advice

Front 21

analyzing

Back 21

helping the other person see issues in new ways, or from new productive points of view

Front 22

advising

Back 22

giving advice

Front 23

When to give advice

Back 23

-if the advice is needed
-if the advice is wanted
-if the advice is given in the right sequence
-coming from an expert
-trusted person
-offered in a sensitive manner

Front 24

judging

Back 24

right/ wrong, good/ bad.

Front 25

How to tell what kind of listening you should be doing

Back 25

-gender
-situation
-who other person is/ relationship
-your personal style

Front 26

Language is

Back 26

-symbolic
-tied to culture (not universal)
- arbitrary
-rule governed (learning)

Front 27

equivocal language

Back 27

words or phrases that have several meanings ex. a sign that says "slow children"

Front 28

relative words/relative language

Back 28

gained by comparison ex. how long is a little while

Front 29

static evaluation

Back 29

talking about somebody as if the person never changed, as if that's who they were/ are all of the time. ex. trisha is crabby

Front 30

abstract language vs. concrete language

Back 30

abstract means bug and vague and broad ex. I have a pet. concrete means specific ex. I have a three year old brown eyed 65 pound springer names Dudley

Front 31

denotations

Back 31

dictionary definition

Front 32

conotations

Back 32

what the word means to you

Front 33

convergence

Back 33

when a sender uses language in a manner that helps fit in better

Front 34

divergence

Back 34

the sender uses language that is different in style or substance than listeners

Front 35

powerless speech

Back 35

ineffective and not straight to the point ex. using filler words

Front 36

inference

Back 36

something you suspect

Front 37

emotive language

Back 37

JUDGEMENT. when you seem to be describing someone but you are really judging them, this is likely to be emotive language.

Front 38

I language

Back 38

clearly identifies the speaker as the source of the message. Takes responsibility for my own actions

Front 39

you language

Back 39

expresses a judgment of the other person. blames or shames/ YOUR fault

Front 40

I language includes

Back 40

-description of behavior
-interpretation of behavior
-feeling statement ( how I am feeling)
-consequence (how their behavior effected me)

Front 41

why don't people use I language

Back 41

-too angry
-other person still gets defensive
- comes off as artificial

Front 42

goals of I language

Back 42

-I am responsible for my own actions
-move away from blame
-minimize defensiveness
-deliver more info

Front 43

advantages of I language

Back 43

-more complete
-less defensiveness
-honest

Front 44

challenges of I language

Back 44

-too angry to use it
-phony
-others still get defensive

Front 45

abstraction ladder

Back 45

(more abstract) need to have a better attitude-> you need to be more positive->you need to complain less-> you need to complain less about working hard-> you need to complain less about working overtime on weekends (more specific)

Front 46

behavioral language

Back 46

refers to specific things that people say or do

Front 47

Nonverbal Communication can be

Back 47

intention and unintentional as it can be conscious and unconscious

Front 48

repeating (what functions nonverbal comm. serves)

Back 48

the same message is sent verbally and nonverbally.

Front 49

complementing

Back 49

this means that I would need to pay attention to both your verbal and nonverbal behavior to get the complete message. cant just pay attention to one

Front 50

substituting

Back 50

substitute a nonverbal message instead of words. ex. waiter asks how food is and your mouth is full. give a thumbs up

Front 51

accenting

Back 51

putting more emphasis on certain words. you might do this with tone of voice

Front 52

regulating

Back 52

when you talk face to face you constantly watch each others nonverbal communication for cues about the conversation

Front 53

contradicting

Back 53

this happens when two messages from the same source send opposing messages like when someone screams loudly "im not angry"

Front 54

nonverbal communication can...

Back 54

reveal deception

Front 55

nonverbal communication is..

Back 55

ambiguous

Front 56

what falls into the category of nonverbal communication

Back 56

-body movement, orientation, posture, and gestures
-face and eyes
voice, paralanguage
-touch
-appearance, appearance related issues
physical space and objects in that space(proxemics)

Front 57

proxemics

Back 57

things like size of rooms, the colors, the placement of furniture, the "flow" from one living space to another

Front 58

adaptors

Back 58

unconscious bodily movements in response to the enviornment

Front 59

bodily orientation

Back 59

the degree to which we face toward or away from someone with our body

Front 60

chronemics

Back 60

describes the study od how humans use structure time

Front 61

emblems

Back 61

deliberate nonverbal behaviors that have a precise meaning and are known virtually everywhere within cultural groups

Front 62

haptics

Back 62

describe the study of touch

Front 63

illustrators

Back 63

movements that accompany speech but don't stand on their own

Front 64

intimate distance

Back 64

used with people who are emotionally the closest to us

Front 65

kinesics

Back 65

body position and emotion

Front 66

leakage

Back 66

inadvertent signals of deception

Front 67

manipulators

Back 67

self touching behaviors

Front 68

paralanguage

Back 68

nonverbal vocal messages

Front 69

personal distance

Back 69

18 inches at its closest point to 4 feet at its farthest

Front 70

public distance

Back 70

running outward from 12 feet

Front 71

social distance

Back 71

4 feet to 12 feet

Front 72

territory

Back 72

stationary