Interpersonal Communication: Communication And Identity

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Self Concept

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The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself.

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Self Esteem

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Is part of the self concept that involves evaluations of self-worth.

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Reflected Appraisal

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Developing a Self Concept that reflects the way we believe others see us. (In other words, we are likely to feel less valuable, lovable and capable to the degree that others communicated ego-busting signals; and we will probably feel good about ourselves to the degree that others affirm our value.) (A child will learn to judge themselves by how others treat him or her.)

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Significant Others

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People whose opinions we especially value. (Can be family members, a special friend, a teacher or perhaps an acquaintance whose opinion you value.) (Your self-evaluations were probably highly influenced by these people and can leave an imprint on how you view yourself).

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Social Comparison

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Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others. (Are we superior or inferior to that person, or are we the same as or different from others)

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Reference Groups

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Groups against which we compare ourselves, thereby influencing our self-concept and self-esteem.

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Sources of inaccurate self concepts: Obsolete information

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The effects of past failures in school or social relations can linger long after the have occurred, even though such events dont predict failure in the futre. Likewise, your past successes dont guarantee future success. Perhaps your jokes used to be well received or your work was superior, but now the facts have changed.

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Sources of inaccurate self concepts: Distorted feedback

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Distorted feedback also can create a self-image that is worse or better than the facts warrant. Overly critical parents are one of the most common causes of negative self-image. In other cases the remarks of cruel friends, uncaring teachers, excessively demanding employers, or even memorable strangers can have a lasting effect. Other distorted messages can be unrealistically positive. A boss may think of herself as an excellent manager because her assistants shower her with false praise in order to keep their jobs or gain promotions. Likewise a child's inflated ego may be based on the praise of doting parents.

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Sources of inaccurate self concepts: Perfection

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Along with obsolete information and distorted feedback, another cause for a strongly negative self-concept is the emphasis on perfection, which is common in our society. From the time most of us learn to understand language we are exposed to models who appear to be perfect. Children's stories and advertisements imply that the way to be a hero, the way to be liked and admired, is to show no flaws. Unfortunately, many parents perpetuate the myth of perfection by refusing to admit they are ever mistaken or unfair.

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Sources of inaccurate self concepts: Social Expectations

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Curiously, the perfectionist society to which we belong those who downplay the strengths we demand that they possess (or pretend to possess). We term these people "modest" and find their behavior agreeable. On the other hand, we consider those who honestly appreciate their strengths to be "braggarts" or "egotist," confusing them with the people who boast about the accomplishments they do not possess. This convention leads most of us to talk freely about our shortcomings while downplaying our accomplishments. It's all right to proclaim that you're miserable if you have failed to do well on a project; but it's considered boastful to express your pride at a job well done.

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Communicating with high self esteem:

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Positive cycle: High self-esteem -> Positive thoughts "I can do it" -> Desirable behavior - > Positive thoughts "I did well" (Positive thoughts go back to high self esteem and process repeats itself over and over again)

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Communicating with low self esteem:

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Negative cycle: Low self-esteem -> Negative thoughts "I can't do it" -> Undesirable behavior - > Negative thoughts "I failed again" (Negative thoughts go back to low self esteem and process repeats itself over and over again).

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Identity Management:Manner

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Manner consist of a communicators words and nonverbal actions.

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Identity Management: Appearance

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The personal items (such as clothing) that people use to shape their image.

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Identity Management:Setting

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Physical items that we use to influence how others view us. (The car that person drives). The physical setting we choose and the way we arrange is another way we choose to manage our identities. (What colors do you choose in a place you live at. Are you more organized in public and messy in a private setting?)

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Perceived self

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The perceived self is a reflection of the self concept. You perceived self is the person you believe yourself to be in the moments of honest self examination. We can call the perceived self "private" because you are unlikely to reveal all of it to another person.

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Presenting self

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The presenting self is a public image -- the way we want others to view us. The presenting self is sometimes called one's face. In most cases the presenting self that we seek to create is a socially approved image.