Additionally, as I entered my sophomore year of high school my deviant self-identity began to form through the process of secondary deviance. Secondary deviance is exercised when an individual begins to internalize the reaction and thoughts that others held – in relation to the individual’s initial deviant behaviour, and integrates this belief into their self-identity (Downes, Rock & McCormick, 2013). My parents assumed that because I no longer practiced their religion, I would begin to participate in unsafe, unacceptable, and extremely sinful activities with my non-religious and rebellious high school friends. On account of this unfavourable and deviant label my parents had given me, I started to experience a sense of alienation from my family
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While I had resumed to actively participate in high school parties, drinking, and smoking marijuana, I made the choice to steer away from what I deemed as deviant such as the use of hard drugs like LSD, cocaine, and Xanax. Mischievous activities were what I sought to participate in, in order to fit my deviant identity whereas the view of this group turned into more of a constant and excessive desire to get high. Choosing to not partake in these activities meant I was no longer engaging in the role that was expected of me by this particular social group and so I decided to disassociate myself with these individuals. Knowing that I had the goals of pursuing higher education I realized that I needed to continue to maintain my high-grade averages and move past these deviant individuals who did not seem to value their education to the degree that I did. By disconnecting myself from negative individuals, reducing the amount my partying, drinking responsibly, and shifting my social spheres in order to coincide with my academic and work commitments, I demonstrate how I was working towards “preserving a positive self-image” (Shaw, 2017). However, these intentions of continuously partying and drinking – although now in a responsible manner, was concealed to maintain different identities I expressed depending on whether my parents or high school peers were the audiences. Both of my parents viewed me as deviant for not practicing Catholicism, but they were unaware that I engaged in other deviant activities whereas my peers were aware of
While I had resumed to actively participate in high school parties, drinking, and smoking marijuana, I made the choice to steer away from what I deemed as deviant such as the use of hard drugs like LSD, cocaine, and Xanax. Mischievous activities were what I sought to participate in, in order to fit my deviant identity whereas the view of this group turned into more of a constant and excessive desire to get high. Choosing to not partake in these activities meant I was no longer engaging in the role that was expected of me by this particular social group and so I decided to disassociate myself with these individuals. Knowing that I had the goals of pursuing higher education I realized that I needed to continue to maintain my high-grade averages and move past these deviant individuals who did not seem to value their education to the degree that I did. By disconnecting myself from negative individuals, reducing the amount my partying, drinking responsibly, and shifting my social spheres in order to coincide with my academic and work commitments, I demonstrate how I was working towards “preserving a positive self-image” (Shaw, 2017). However, these intentions of continuously partying and drinking – although now in a responsible manner, was concealed to maintain different identities I expressed depending on whether my parents or high school peers were the audiences. Both of my parents viewed me as deviant for not practicing Catholicism, but they were unaware that I engaged in other deviant activities whereas my peers were aware of