negative are just some of the 10 Habits of Couples in Strong and Healthy Relationship journalist Sara Altschule wrote about. Out of all of the 10 habits Altschule wrote about, I’d have to say communication is by far the most important. Throughout the countless fights I caused between Kody and I, hands down, I caused almost 99.9% of them. The reason, zero communication. Not just verbal communication, but also non-verbal. I didn’t know how to control my emotions, so I did what I thought was best and threw them all on the table with no explanation and blindsiding Kody. I never listened, I raise my voice when he tried to talk attempting to drowned out his thoughts, and worst of all, I didn’t explain myself when he asked why. I was triggered with emotions just like Gary Harper explained in The Joy of Conflict. I was in the drama triangle, and I was the villain every …show more content…
On top of that, I told him I was putting it in a paper and sharing it with my professor. Instantly I noticed a shield come over him, he locked him hands in him lap and started frantically tapping him feet. I then explained to him that he is showing he is uncomfortable with the situation and I understood why. Doing that seemed to have lifted a weight off of his shoulders and he was like a broken record the rest of the interview. Kody’s exact words when I asked him what he thought caused our conflicts in the past was, “ I felt we had zero communication, you attacked me when I didn’t understand the problem, and the shut down when I tried to ask you more about why was bothering you” (Kody, 2016). It stung, but I already knew I did what he was saying. The one person I ever wanted to hear it from, was him. We know we cannot run from out issues, and or, assume they are all behind us. I knew that I needed to relax and be able to explain my feelings rather than just jump to conclusion. Sadly, I caught depression from doing just this when we fought. I didn’t know how to fix it so I figure it was over and I was going to be loosing the most important thing in my life. I was lost because I couldn’t control how I was feeling, and I couldn’t go tell the one person I wanted to, because it would lead to a