I never thought about what it means to find myself or to know myself until I joined the Korean Army. I had so much time to self-reflect, yet not enough people to share my thoughts and feelings, so I thought that I can’t find myself there. Right after I was discharged, I went on a pilgrimage in Spain called Camino de Santiago, where I walked for eight to ten hours a day for a month and a half. I walked 600 miles, hoping to find myself, and the meaning of my life. Although I learned a lot from the pilgrimage, I couldn’t find what I hoped to find. I attributed my failure to not having enough physical challenge, so went on another trip to Himalayan region, hoping that I would find something there. From the mountains, I got nothing but some great pictures and knee infection. After spending all of my money that I saved in the army, I came back to school, feeling defeated and discouraged.
When I was about to give up on active searching, I learned about the Korean Buddhist monastery …show more content…
In fact, I felt amazing every time I left the classroom, because I learned something new or I was reminded something that I forgot from each class. For example, I re-evaluated my mindfulness practice through this course. I don’t believe that practicing meditation and prostration alone would get me to the enlightenment anymore, because practicing without understanding what it means to be present would only lead me to self-grandiose and egotism. I don’t feel anxious about not knowing as much as I used to feel, and I certainly ruminate less. Also, I used to feel guilty if I didn’t do something productive at any given time, but I don’t feel as much guilty as I used to. Through the class, I learned to talk back to my introjections, and became more aware of where my sense of guild and shame was coming from. I believe that getting rid of my introjections is an essential part of becoming an independent individual, and I feel determined to do
When I was about to give up on active searching, I learned about the Korean Buddhist monastery …show more content…
In fact, I felt amazing every time I left the classroom, because I learned something new or I was reminded something that I forgot from each class. For example, I re-evaluated my mindfulness practice through this course. I don’t believe that practicing meditation and prostration alone would get me to the enlightenment anymore, because practicing without understanding what it means to be present would only lead me to self-grandiose and egotism. I don’t feel anxious about not knowing as much as I used to feel, and I certainly ruminate less. Also, I used to feel guilty if I didn’t do something productive at any given time, but I don’t feel as much guilty as I used to. Through the class, I learned to talk back to my introjections, and became more aware of where my sense of guild and shame was coming from. I believe that getting rid of my introjections is an essential part of becoming an independent individual, and I feel determined to do