She reveals that to her it signifies that the labyrinth of life is suffering and pain and she doesn’t know how to escape it. She tells Pudge this interpretation, which at first seems mysterious like most of her actions and thoughts but that later makes sense. One night Alaska and her friends start playing a game of Best Day/ Worst Day and she explains how her mom dies and how she thinks she was responsible for it, “So I just sat there on the floor with her until my dad got home an hour later, and he’s screaming ‘Why didn’t you call 911?’ […] Takumi asked, ‘Your dad blamed you?’ ‘Well, not after that first moment. But yeah. How could he not?” (119) Alaska was just a child and she had to witness her mom die of an aneurysm, but what is worse is that her dad’s first reaction was to blame his daughter. Alaska was only a child, she didn’t know the severity of the situation, which combined with the shock of seeing her mother helplessly on the ground, she was unable to call 911. Her father blamed her and ever since that day, Alaska blamed herself too. If her dad had been sympathetic and reassured Alaska that in such a hard situation it was understandable to panic and not be able to call 911 then Alaska might have been able to forgive herself because her dad would have, but the opposite happened. Because he resented her for not saving her mother, their relationship was irreparably broken causing him to become an absent and uninvolved parent which led to Alaska’s rebelliousness and recklessness. That moment of her life impacted her future decisions all the way to the end of her life when she crashed trying to bring flowers to her mother’s
She reveals that to her it signifies that the labyrinth of life is suffering and pain and she doesn’t know how to escape it. She tells Pudge this interpretation, which at first seems mysterious like most of her actions and thoughts but that later makes sense. One night Alaska and her friends start playing a game of Best Day/ Worst Day and she explains how her mom dies and how she thinks she was responsible for it, “So I just sat there on the floor with her until my dad got home an hour later, and he’s screaming ‘Why didn’t you call 911?’ […] Takumi asked, ‘Your dad blamed you?’ ‘Well, not after that first moment. But yeah. How could he not?” (119) Alaska was just a child and she had to witness her mom die of an aneurysm, but what is worse is that her dad’s first reaction was to blame his daughter. Alaska was only a child, she didn’t know the severity of the situation, which combined with the shock of seeing her mother helplessly on the ground, she was unable to call 911. Her father blamed her and ever since that day, Alaska blamed herself too. If her dad had been sympathetic and reassured Alaska that in such a hard situation it was understandable to panic and not be able to call 911 then Alaska might have been able to forgive herself because her dad would have, but the opposite happened. Because he resented her for not saving her mother, their relationship was irreparably broken causing him to become an absent and uninvolved parent which led to Alaska’s rebelliousness and recklessness. That moment of her life impacted her future decisions all the way to the end of her life when she crashed trying to bring flowers to her mother’s